tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post2088471651281798736..comments2023-11-02T08:41:44.231-07:00Comments on The Sanctuary: Just eat your soup and let her talkSpacetravellerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02202131232540121117noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-57550452793736297462012-04-01T15:59:00.977-07:002012-04-01T15:59:00.977-07:00@ AR
I'd agree. Speaking about the difference...@ AR<br /><br />I'd agree. Speaking about the differences is a major thought crime. Guess that makes us criminals. lol.<br /><br />Men and women have different evolutionary functions. It doesn't mean that we're so different that bridging the differences are impossible, but it's made harder when our "intellectual superiors" reinforce the idea that there are no differences.<br /><br />Rule of thumb. If a man is upset and saying one thing but is actually upset about something else, it's because something has gone wrong with his environment.<br /><br />If a woman is upset and saying one thing but is actually upset about something else, it's because something is wrong with her relationship(s).<br /><br />I hate to generalize, but it helps to narrow things down.just visitingnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-36018156258586156772012-03-31T16:22:08.281-07:002012-03-31T16:22:08.281-07:00@ AR @ 3.30PM,
Which question are you referring t...@ AR @ 3.30PM,<br /><br />Which question are you referring to? I ask several questions in the OP.Spacetravellerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02202131232540121117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-35865461683484208972012-03-31T15:36:45.105-07:002012-03-31T15:36:45.105-07:00just visiting
Sometimes they do. Sometimes they do...just visiting<br /><i>Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don't. Sometimes the words are only half the communication.</i><br /><br />The problem is, a man is obliged to take every single word out of a woman's mouth as if it has meaning. If he does not, then he is judged guilty of <i>not taking her seriously</i>, a major thoughtcrime. However, in many cases the sheer volume is enough to overwhelm many ordinary humans. And the irony is that women generally don't listen to men at all. <br /><br /><i>Something being true today or tomorrow. Depends on the woman. In my case, yes. In another woman's case, perhaps not.</i><br /><br />In my experience, every single statement a woman says has an expiration date. It may be in a few seconds, it may be in a few weeks, it may be in a few decades. But sooner or later, it will cease to be true. The truth will have expired. It is true of every woman, and every thing said. It's a matter of "when", not "if". <br /><br />Perhaps this reality is why pointing out the fickleness of women is such a major thoughtcrime in our feminist, matriarchal, world. Speaking the truth, as Orwell put it, becomes a revolutionary act...Anonymous Readernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-17232979869427506252012-03-31T15:30:41.845-07:002012-03-31T15:30:41.845-07:00The original question is too broad. There is no co...The original question is too broad. There is no context. <br /><br />Do you mean one man and one woman who are married for a years, one man and one woman who happen to be in the middle of a large social gathering, one man and one woman and several children at an evening meal, one man and one woman on their first private outing, or something else?<br /><br />You're the one who is supposed to be so superior at communication, at subtle details, etc., not me. So why am I explaining to you that your question cannot be answered save in the most general of terms?Anonymous Readernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-59498947525420322472012-03-25T22:50:08.601-07:002012-03-25T22:50:08.601-07:00@ JV,
U is welcome.
@ AR,
It never ceaes to amaze...@ JV,<br />U is welcome.<br /><br />@ AR,<br />It never ceaes to amaze me how much as human beings we are driven by our biological imperatives.<br />Have you watched a mother 'communicate' with a baby or a very young child?<br />How much of <i> that </i> is content as you and I know it?<br />That's right - next to zilch.<br />What's more, a woman does <i> not </i> even need to be a mother before she gets good at this - sure, she improves with the practice once she becomes a mother.<br />Why do I say this?<br />As a teenager, babysitting for various family members or friends I already had this skill honed to a T. And I haven't lost it :-)<br /><br />Yes it is annoying when a woman talks like this to a grown man. You yourself mentioned elsewhere that nagging smacks of a 'mommy/child interaction'.<br /><br />I agree that women ought to tone this down a notch, and realise that certain communication styles are better than others depending on the audience.<br /><br />Some women get it completely wrong - they talk to grown ups like children and children like grown ups. I know at least one woman who does this - very annoying, although I can just about tolerate her. I imagine she irritates a lot of men though...Spacetravellerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02202131232540121117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-18897128549398667322012-03-25T13:26:32.470-07:002012-03-25T13:26:32.470-07:00Thnks!Thnks!just visitingnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-17847983913021732512012-03-25T00:30:26.354-07:002012-03-25T00:30:26.354-07:00@ JV,
"As a woman who has tried to bridge t...@ JV,<br /><br /><i> "As a woman who has tried to bridge that gap by training myself to speak directly, I find a new problem. Men on these forums are complaining that modern women are too direct. That we aren't feminine enough with coy, circular conversation, and don't get them started on our flirting skills. So..on some subconscious level, men are looking for that "connection" part of our communication style. Speaking directly may be fine for work, but in social setting, renders us charmless to men. Apparently."<br /> </i> <br />Herein lies an important double-bind for women.<br />In trying to understand men, we run the risk of becoming too masculinised.<br />We have to know when to retract back into femininity-land. Not easy, but we have to know how to do it.<br />It's crucial! <br />Thanks for making this point.<br />Seriously, you are such an asset to this blog.Spacetravellerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02202131232540121117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-43642107930947368602012-03-25T00:22:35.016-07:002012-03-25T00:22:35.016-07:00Thanks JV!
I remember that post from TPM. It made...Thanks JV!<br /><br />I remember that post from TPM. It made me chuckle, because I realised how much he knew about women.<br /><br />This is one reason I would always advise men to learn this sort of Game - it is exactly the sort of thing one's father cannot teach one.<br />So Thank God for the grand dukes of The Manosphere who are fulfilling this mentor role for young men.<br />These men almost always learned about women late in life, and often learned the hard way.<br />A young man should take the free lesson from these older men - i.e. learn the easy way.<br />Why not?<br /><br />@ AR,<br />To answer your bonus question, I would also answer 'yes'.<br />But again, women are known to 'change their mind' a lot, I am sure you know!<br />So much so that it is often described as 'a woman's perogative'. I have read data which links this directly to the monthly cycle.<br />The only reason I can answer 'yes' to your question is that I sometimes make the concerted effort not to be so capricious. But I don't always succeed LOL.<br />Hey, please don't shoot the messenger - I didn't make the rules.<br />:-)<br />We all have to navigate the quirks of the opposite gender, right? Unless we choose to 'get on the other bus'.Spacetravellerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02202131232540121117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-86108657137002045052012-03-24T19:55:38.684-07:002012-03-24T19:55:38.684-07:00You might want to check out a post over at The Pri...You might want to check out a post over at The Private Man. You'll have to scroll down on his past posts, but it's called Femininity - You have to take the good with the bad. The comments are quite good too.<br /><br />Now, as a man going his own way, you don't have to do either. But it's an interesting take on things, and you might enjoy the read.just visitingnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-46748648747173974802012-03-24T19:39:44.713-07:002012-03-24T19:39:44.713-07:00Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don't. Somet...Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don't. Sometimes the words are only half the communication.<br /><br />Something being true today or tomorrow. Depends on the woman. In my case, yes. In another woman's case, perhaps not.just visitingnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-12372845473856198432012-03-24T19:18:29.198-07:002012-03-24T19:18:29.198-07:00The question is this : do women's words actual...The question is this : do women's words actually mean anything, or not? <br /><br />Bonus question: if something is "true" today, will it still be "true" tomorrow, or next week, or next year, or 10 years from now?Anonymous Readernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-45418646677991698882012-03-24T17:35:08.222-07:002012-03-24T17:35:08.222-07:00Something's always being communicated. The wor...Something's always being communicated. The words themselves as stand alone may not be what's being communicated.lol.just visitingnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-20142080940779760472012-03-24T17:26:20.802-07:002012-03-24T17:26:20.802-07:00So sometimes women's words mean something, and...So sometimes women's words mean something, and other times the words mean nothing, and it is up to others to determine if anything is being said or not, correct?Anonymous Readernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-88351175370958008902012-03-24T17:18:12.666-07:002012-03-24T17:18:12.666-07:00I agree with ST. Communication is message and conn...I agree with ST. Communication is message and connection. This isn't just verbal. Easy with women, trickier when men do it. Really have to watch the cues)<br /><br />Why bother listening to any of it? You could choose not to. Depends on how much contempt you have for the woman. (Because that's how it would come across.) <br /><br />As a woman who has tried to bridge that gap by training myself to speak directly, I find a new problem. Men on these forums are complaining that modern women are too direct. That we aren't feminine enough with coy, circular conversation, and don't get them started on our flirting skills. So..on some subconscious level, men are looking for that "connection" part of our communication style. Speaking directly may be fine for work, but in social setting, renders us charmless to men. Apparently.just visitingnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-6724990388327867182012-03-24T16:00:25.796-07:002012-03-24T16:00:25.796-07:00@ Anonymous Reader,
See? That's a typical (and...@ Anonymous Reader,<br />See? That's a typical (and appropriate, I have to say) male response.<br /><br />I never said it was logical, remember?<br /><br />This is how women communicate with each other (quite effectively, I might add). It works well with <i> other women. </i> <br /><br />But your question helps me to understand why it doesn't and wouldn't work with men!<br /><br />For a start, you say it is not obvious what is signal and what is noise. I <i> know </i> it is not obvious to you.<br />As a woman, I can tell if another woman is 'giving me information' or 'connecting with me'. I don't know how. I just do. It is <i> innate </i> to me.<br />(By the way, I never have to make this distinction when I am talking to a man because with a man, he is almost always just 'giving me information'. Simple as that.<br />I might not always know when/if a man is trying to connect with me, though. I gather it is almost never verbal. So same as you might get lost on Planet Woman, I also get lost on Planet Man :-)<br /><br />To answer your question, if you really want to help out an uninformed Blue Pill woman, just listen to everything, noise and signal and just absorb it. No response required. You can ask for clarification if you want to score extra points (shows you were listening in the first place LOL). It's not so much 'why bother' as 'why not'?<br /><br />Can't say this is a walk in the park, this...<br />Communication style has to be one of the biggest sources of difference between the genders huh?Spacetravellerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02202131232540121117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-85795715303438888062012-03-24T14:58:38.754-07:002012-03-24T14:58:38.754-07:00Believe it or not, that's exactly what I meant...<i>Believe it or not, that's exactly what I meant to say, for half the communication of women.</i><br /><br />Interesting. So if the signal is half noise, and it is not at all obvious what is noise vs. what is signal, what is the point in paying any attention to any of it? Why bother?Anonymous Readernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-59971948738860017052012-03-24T13:16:14.471-07:002012-03-24T13:16:14.471-07:00@ Anonymous Reader,
Welcome to The Sanctuary!
I ...@ Anonymous Reader,<br /><br />Welcome to The Sanctuary!<br /><br />I am aware that I might be walking into a perfectly concealed trap here, but that's just fine :-)<br />Believe it or not, that's exactly what I meant to say, for half the communication of women.<br />Of course this cannot be ALL of a woman's communication style - she would not be able to live in this life if that were the case.<br /><br />But a significant proportion of the time, she is just wanting to reach out to someone. Content is not the key here. It's really about 'connection'.<br />I hope another woman will chime in and tell you her own experience of this. Perhaps I don't speak for all women, or even a significant majority. But I have seen an awful lot of examples of this, in myself and many women, irrespective of demographics.<br />This is not of course to be disrespectful to myself or any other woman (I am really not into the self-hate thing, I can assure you!). I am just reporting an observation.<br />To a man's brain, it may not make sense.<br />But perhaps it is not meant to.<br />Same as a lot of things men do I shall never understand, hard as I might try.<br />Just to understand is all that is required sometimes.<br /><br />(PS: My long-winded answer is carefully worded based on the assumption that you are male. If I had had an inkling that you were female, my answer to this question would have been much shorter and to the tune of:<br />Are you kidding me?)<br />:-)Spacetravellerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02202131232540121117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-6247517079570755292012-03-24T10:36:37.264-07:002012-03-24T10:36:37.264-07:00Communication, for women is not just about imparti...<i>Communication, for women is not just about imparting useful information like a man would view communication. No, no, no. It's a lot to do with just 'connecting' to someone, so to this end the content of what she is saying does not really matter half the time.</i><br /><br />This looks a lot like "her words do not actually mean anything, they are just sounds she makes for emotional satisfaction". Is that what you meant to say?Anonymous Readernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-39597199275619206462012-03-12T09:06:06.460-07:002012-03-12T09:06:06.460-07:00@ Anonymous at 6:53AM,
"To be alone... Men n...@ Anonymous at 6:53AM,<br /><br />"To be alone... Men need to be alone when under stress to figure it out, others would be a distraction. I guess women trust others more and don't need to regain control as much."<br /><br />So, a man's silence means 'go away, don't worry about me, I am fine.'<br />As opposed to 'Actually, I am hurting real bad but I am afraid to tell you - come hug me and talk to me' which is what women think a man's silence says.<br /><br />Nice to know :-)<br />Thanks.Spacetravellerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02202131232540121117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-6908139690208659162012-03-12T06:53:13.681-07:002012-03-12T06:53:13.681-07:00People (I think more women then men, but not by mu...People (I think more women then men, but not by much) talk... Twaddle. Most communication isn't about the content but the feelings of connectedness. Men, for whom communication is more of a hassle, have more difficulty just going with the flow, and thus find it irritating (at times)<br />To be alone... Men need to be alone when under stress to figure it out, others would be a distraction. I guess women trust others more and don't need to regain control as much.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-18177361260799975342012-03-12T02:00:18.205-07:002012-03-12T02:00:18.205-07:00@ Bill,
I see. Thanks for the clarification. I wou...@ Bill,<br />I see. Thanks for the clarification. I would, and I am sure many women too, would love to see that kind of man back in our world. (I have to say that on some level this man still exists but he is slightly 'disguised' in the sense that he has now figured out that he could easily be taken advantage of if people are aware of his good nature).<br />The problem is that some men are just not motivated anymore to be like that. The fat lady has not just started singing, apparently she has finished the concert and is on her way to the dressing room :-)<br /><br />@ BeijaFlor,<br /><br />Do you mean you became something of a 'hermaphrodite' after that course?<br />I am not sure I understand your comment.Spacetravellerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02202131232540121117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-61611968730360314512012-03-11T21:20:58.845-07:002012-03-11T21:20:58.845-07:00Retrosexual ...?
I will add this, because it'...Retrosexual ...?<br /><br />I will add this, because it's very "close to home."<br /><br />When I was privileged with the opportunity to join an "informal" (but historically significant and long-standing) group of Old Pilots, and specifically a particular "Hangar" that included the Pledge Of Allegiance (to the Flag of the United States of America) as part of their Sacred Ritual ...<br /><br />I bought a "Stars And Stripes" USA flag for the Pledge, and I set it up in the Appropriate Direction (I won't specify that more closely) before every meeting that I attended.<br /><br />For the introduction of a couple of meetings - before I bought a flag, a staff, and a stand that would work for this devotion - my future confrères saluted the Stars&Stripes that were printed on the "blood chit" I sewed into the lining of my flight-jacket! (There's a story behind that...!)<br /><br />If that renders me as a "retrosexual" ... me, a biological male who hasn't used his sexuality in these United States of America since 1985 - save for the times I've "taken myself in hand" ... then the rest of you should be ASHAMED of the "retrosexual" label!BeijaFlorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06996048547599987043noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-6640892419792693142012-03-11T21:03:03.969-07:002012-03-11T21:03:03.969-07:00Oh, my dear heavens glorious God!
I have to skip ...Oh, my dear heavens glorious God!<br /><br />I have to skip past the verbosity of the previous comments and "cut to the chase."<br /><br />I was one of the first to complete the Avatar® personal-enhancement course, and soon after I became an "Avatar Master" (course facilitator). <br /><br />I found a difference between the "outer manifestations" of men and women, during this course; but both men and women did indeed arrive at the same essential (and course-required) mind-state, after enough and appropriate practice of the SAME exercises. <br /><br />What's funny about this - to me - is that my course-work and master's work leave me, spiritually, in a completely ambiguous and ambisexual spirutual state! And my masculine impulses, as tempered and stilled as they are by my spiritual state ... well, I will leave the Potential Student to work out the possible problems and incipient outcomes of the infinite range of potential outcomes. <br /><br />It's not your problem, and neither am I.BeijaFlorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06996048547599987043noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-66398637897663045292012-03-11T15:45:18.700-07:002012-03-11T15:45:18.700-07:00@ SpaceTraveller
Retro = of things past
I learne...@ SpaceTraveller<br /><br />Retro = of things past<br /><br />I learned to be a man from my father. He grew up during the Great Depression and fought in World War II. <br /><br />He built a cabin with nothing but hand tools. Not even an electric drill or saw.<br /><br />He could navigate a bomber from Idaho to Guam with a sextant, a slide rule, and his Omega watch.<br /><br />He put himself thru college by carrying 80 pound sacks of coal at a steel mill.<br /><br />He cared for my mother every day from the day she became disabled in1972 until she died in 1991.<br /><br />Retrosexual, as opposed to metrosexual. Old school. <br /><br />Returning to something that works. Because what we have is not working for anyone.<br /><br />BillAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-10300504855442026962012-03-11T15:07:53.113-07:002012-03-11T15:07:53.113-07:00Whoa Bill!
I'm speechless...
(Which is a good...Whoa Bill!<br /><br />I'm speechless...<br />(Which is a good thing).<br /><br />I'll have to go digest this one for a few days :-)<br /><br />Out of interest, what is the etymology behind the word 'Retrosexual'?<br />I don't think I have ever heard this term before...<br />From what little research I have done on this, on the one hand it seems to describe a celibate man, and on the other, it is used to describe someone who is the opposite of a 'metrosexual'.<br /><br />But why <i> retro </i> ?Spacetravellerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02202131232540121117noreply@blogger.com