tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post7738231985368855135..comments2023-11-02T08:41:44.231-07:00Comments on The Sanctuary: What is your end-point?Spacetravellerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02202131232540121117noreply@blogger.comBlogger64125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-13751011254399100812012-02-21T07:48:51.667-08:002012-02-21T07:48:51.667-08:00Hahaha, Bell,
Either that or romantically hopeles...Hahaha, Bell,<br /><br />Either that or romantically hopeless :-)<br /><br />I love these little 'wortspiels' by the way.<br /><br />My old boss had a favourite catchphrase: Working hard, or hardly working?<br /><br />You are right about the 'translation' that is sometimes required when discussing male-female issues. I must say, you in particular are good at this 'translation'.<br />Definitely makes it more palatable when someone can 'gender-ise' it appropriately.<br />I always find it fascinating and sometimes amusing when The Private Man and his male friends 'decode' some poor woman's words into language only men would find appealing...<br /><br />It really is not pretty, and sometimes it really does border on the distasteful, but I guess as you say we are not the intended audience.<br />I guess it might be equally distasteful to a man to sit through a 'chick flick' for 2 hours, LOL.<br /><br />So, to protect myself, I really will obey when it says on the locker room door, 'Keep out'.<br /><br />:-)Spacetravellerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02202131232540121117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-48442824995700229822012-02-21T06:26:32.781-08:002012-02-21T06:26:32.781-08:00@ST
I think you're just a hopeless romantic!...@ST <br /><br />I think you're just a hopeless romantic! ;) <br /><br />(Full disclosure: So am I!) <br /><br />And there's nothing wrong with failing to see something in simplistic terms. I'm sure even Kane would admit that while bang-to-buck ratio is one consideration when he is looking for a woman, it is not the only one. <br /><br />I can't remember who said it first, but someone explained that the reason you'll find a lot of stuff simultaneously presented simplistically and blown out of proportion in the Manosphere is that this style of communication is both good for teaching and good for encouraging men to join the discussion. Women may be put off at first glance, but we're not the main target audience. <br /><br />Along those lines, I have anti-Manosphere friends who say they are amazed at how well the same things sound after I write about them <i>in a style more appealing to women</i>. Same content, different style. I do my best. ;)Bellitanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-20916966007551458452012-02-21T04:47:51.458-08:002012-02-21T04:47:51.458-08:00@ Bell,
Excellent point. I hadn't thought of ...@ Bell,<br /><br />Excellent point. I hadn't thought of it that way.<br />In the end, we are all cattle in a dairy farmer's market...<br /><br />:-)<br /><br />I don't quite know why it is so hard for me to see it in such simplistic terms :-(<br />I think I have an element of 'head-in-the-clouds syndrome' about this somewhat.<br />I just have this mental block about it that I can't easily shake off. Not a 'non-negotiable', but close :-P<br /><br />@ Bill,<br /><br />Haha.<br /><br />Maybe it is only me who needs the 'big girl panties' LOL.<br /><br />For all I know CD would be completely fine about the whole 'bang-to-buck ratio' discussion, making me so surprised I would need those big girl panties for entirely different reasons :-)<br /><br />You never know, in this world...<br />Eternal optimist, me :-)Spacetravellerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02202131232540121117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-44528026207490083702012-02-21T03:51:27.352-08:002012-02-21T03:51:27.352-08:00@ SpaceTraveller
...now my other problem is, how ...@ SpaceTraveller<br /><br /><i>...now my other problem is, how do I keep CD from seeing this thread? Just a wild guess, but I think CD would be much more sensitive to this issue than I am...</i><br /><br />This is where we insert the obligatory boilerplate discussion about "taking charge of one's own feelings," AKA "put on your Big Girl panties."<br /><br />BillAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-39366120992169629102012-02-21T03:34:57.568-08:002012-02-21T03:34:57.568-08:00@Spacetraveller
Now that I think about it, the fi...@Spacetraveller <br />Now that I think about it, the first time I saw that post, I didn't care for it, either. It was only in the context of the rest of Kane's blogging that I was able to process it. <br /><br />But there <i>is</i> an economic component (and not necessarily a crude one!) to courtship and dating that I think most women would do well to be aware of. <br /><br />I recall another blogger writing about a woman who had had nearly a hundred first dates in a single year and still hadn't found a boyfriend. A commenter's reaction: "Women have no idea what it's like to date them!" My own reading between the lines: "If a woman had had to pay for those dates, she wouldn't have blithely gone on so many and/or written off <i>all</i> the men she had invested that money on." <br /><br />Hence the common Manosphere maxim: "What <i>else</i> do you have to offer a man (besides sex)?"Bellitanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-88673759962399070542012-02-20T23:33:21.702-08:002012-02-20T23:33:21.702-08:00@ Bill and Bell,
Hahaha, your names match!
:-)
I ...@ Bill and Bell,<br />Hahaha, your names match!<br />:-)<br /><br />I must admit my last comment on Kane's link was half in jest.<br /><br />I am not familiar with Kane's blog. Glad to hear he is woman-friendly normally, Bell.<br /><br />I should explain...<br />I guess there is no 'delicate' way of calculating the price of a woman's 'favours' - not to a woman anyway. That was the source of my 'sensibilities' being ruffled...<br />But if I try really hard to look at this rationally, I guess it is no different from a woman sizing up a man to figure out his earning potential before she gets involved with him, as has been the case since time immemorial, and is actually a declining art nowadays...<br />I guess I am being hypocritical, yes.<br /><br />But... and here is the strange thing...when <i> Bill </i> explained 'bang to buck ratio' succinctly like he did, I didn't bat an eyelid. I was even slightly amused. But when another guy explains it, in such a <i> detailed </i> way, I get all offended :-)<br /><br />It was just the fact that <i> a whole post </i> had been dedicated to the mathematics of ... a woman's worth in purely sexual terms.<br />I also realise that there may be an element of 'stranger danger' involved here too, perhaps. (Clearly this is not restricted to children LOL). I 'know' Bill. So I have no problem with anything he says. He can't possibly offend me. Even if he says something I don't like, he is still my 'friend'. A strange man (Kane, in this case) is unfortunately subject to my 'b*tch shield' until I decide whether he is 'safe'. <br /><br />Somehow, I have no problem with prostitution per se. If a woman is fully aware of the consequences, fine.<br /><br />But it kinda wasn't funny to see that a woman's body (and clearly Kane was not talking about prostitutes here) was being evaluated in a purely economic way like that. I guess Kane was being as woman-friendly as he possibly could, but the subject matter just wouldn't allow him to be as woman-friendly as <i> I </i> would like!<br />Like I said, maybe I am being a hypocrite on this issue because we women do it all the time to the guys...<br />But...it must be said, a man's version is somehow so much <i> cruder </i> (sorry boys, I say that in all humility, respectful of your 'biology').<br /><br />And...believe it or not, I don't think I am a 'prude'. Stop laughing, I am serious :-)<br /><br />I guess there are certain parts of the male mind I just shouldn't venture into... <br />I should take Danny's advice on this for sure :-)<br /><br />But I still say, thank you Bill. It's good to touch raw nerves once in a while. Otherwise how do you know you are alive?<br /><br /><br />God, now my <i> other </i> problem is, <i> how do I keep CD from seeing this thread? </i><br />Just a wild guess, but I think CD would be much more sensitive to this issue than I am, given her reaction to NC's 'missed kiss'.<br /><br />Just a guess...Spacetravellerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02202131232540121117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-15577211224007316822012-02-20T22:38:02.176-08:002012-02-20T22:38:02.176-08:00Re: Kane
I think he's pretty mild and woman-...Re: Kane <br /><br />I think he's pretty mild and woman-friendly, too! I once sent one of his links to a dear friend, and she wrote back, horrified and calling his writing "poison." But I've found a lot of his stuff helpful (either directly or indirectly) and am sorry he isn't blogging regularly any longer.Bellitanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-15336713060095176302012-02-20T17:57:28.971-08:002012-02-20T17:57:28.971-08:00@ SpaceTraveller
Oops!
Sorry to offend your &quo...@ SpaceTraveller<br /><br />Oops!<br /><br />Sorry to offend your "delicate" sensibilities. I thought Kane was pretty refined and gentle, as opposed to my "honey badger" approach of bang-to-buck ratio.<br /><br />I guess I'll have to get back in touch with the beta side of my personality.<br /><br />BillAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-81287669316443794812012-02-19T01:42:30.416-08:002012-02-19T01:42:30.416-08:00@ Bill,
Although I thank you wholeheartedly for e...@ Bill,<br /><br />Although I thank you wholeheartedly for educating me, I have to say, I REALLY wish I hadn't looked at this link.<br /><br />Danny always pre-warns me when he has something of a 'male locker room' nature to show me...<br /><br />And now I know why I like Danny so much :-)<br /><br />Bill, next time, <i> please </i> warn me.<br />I can only take so much! <br />My sensibilities should <i> not </i> be this delicate, having delved into Manosphere territory...<br /><br />But alas, they are :-)<br />HahahaSpacetravellerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02202131232540121117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-18582713482740135502012-02-18T15:43:30.382-08:002012-02-18T15:43:30.382-08:00@ SpaceTraveler
Another way of viewing the "...@ SpaceTraveler<br /><br />Another way of viewing the "bang-to-buck" ratio.<br /><br />http://kaneadvice.wordpress.com/2011/12/21/cost-per-notch-redux/badgerwhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09703627293857189137noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-19686373288591214372012-02-14T17:30:14.552-08:002012-02-14T17:30:14.552-08:00@SpaceTraveler
The difference between this group ...@SpaceTraveler<br /><br /><i>The difference between this group and Goup No 1 is that Group No 1 don't go looking for trouble. They are not gluttons for punishment, but are stronger than before.<br /><br />Question: Which group do you think you are in? And which group do you think most men are really in, deep down when it comes to a failed marriage?</i><br /><br />I said in an earlier post that I'm in Group No. 1. I have experienced my worst fear. More than once. I thought my first divorce was a bad as life could get. I was wrong.<br /><br />My losses didn't leave me stronger than before. They took away a part of me that I can't replace. I learned to compensate for the losses, like a man who loses his dominant hand learns to use his other hand to write. The handwriting isn't the same as before. And it isn't better than before. But it isn't gone altogether. <br /><br />I'm not fearless. But I have become like the honey badger: I don't give a sh!t about a lot of things in life. <br /><br />I can't say with any authority how "most men" emerge from divorce. Equal distribution amongst the three groups you describe? I dunno.<br /><br />BillAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-36008034341112039532012-02-14T16:18:11.690-08:002012-02-14T16:18:11.690-08:00@Bellita
I think you are on the right track for m...@Bellita<br /><br />I think you are on the right track for most women. "Don't ask the question if you can't live with the answer""."<br /><br />@SpaceTraveller<br /><br />For some women, saving face is important. Especially with themselves. <br /><br />Nice analogy with the hamster wheel. <br /><br />BillAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-85286629751074121592012-02-14T13:05:11.532-08:002012-02-14T13:05:11.532-08:00They don't ask because I live in Florida and t...They don't ask because I live in Florida and they are in new Orleans. I'm cool with all them though. I spend time with them talk with them, but we just happen to have sex sometimes.Dannyfrom504http://dannyfrom504.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-52119405890725529652012-02-14T08:02:14.520-08:002012-02-14T08:02:14.520-08:00@ Bellita,
I think your theory is very similar to...@ Bellita,<br /><br />I think your theory is very similar to mine, but not identical.<br />To summarise yours, the woman may be too fearful of losing the guy altogether if she were to reveal that she wanted him all to herself (some might say that under these circumstances she never really had him in the first place, of course...)<br /><br />Mine is, she wouldn't ask questions so she could use the argument of 'plausible deniability' later on, in other words, 'Oh, he <i> had </i> other women? I had some inkling but I didn't <i> know </i> for sure'.<br /><br />It is a face-saving move. <br />A kind of cousin of the 'hamster'.Spacetravellerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02202131232540121117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-8643065339497467812012-02-14T06:42:26.656-08:002012-02-14T06:42:26.656-08:00I have a theory as to why they don't really as...<i>I have a theory as to why they don't really ask questions...<br /><br />But I wonder if any other women have their own theory on this before I divulge mine? </i> <br /><br />It seems obvious to me. Even without any sex involved (on any side), if I were dating a man who was seeing other women too, I'd ask questions only if I wanted us both to be exclusive and if I were willing to cut line completely if his answer were no.Bellitanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-75940008162565626312012-02-14T04:38:08.884-08:002012-02-14T04:38:08.884-08:00Bill,
"She treasured the relationship, just...Bill,<br /><br /><i> "She treasured the relationship, just not me." </i> <br /><br />I just realised something, reading this.<br /><br />I have heard before that men marry when 'the time is right'.<br /><br />It took me a long time to realise that in fact, it has nothing to do with <i> time </i> per se.<br />It is the arrival of 'the right woman'.<br />Because men need never worry about 'time'.<br /><br />'Time' is a woman's word. Because a woman never quite gets too much of time. Because of her biology.<br />So a woman is more likely to settle 'when the time is right' and not necessarily with 'the right man'.<br />And this is why, a 'marriage' or 'relationship' becomes more important than 'the man'.<br />I think I touched on this a bit in 'The Reluctant bride'. But you confirm it for me with this comment of yours.<br /><br />I am not a fan of this phenomenon, because as in your case, and in many I have seen or heard of, I can see the pain this causes.<br />And I totally agree with you that it is indeed selfish. <br /><br />I don't know enough about NPD to agree or disagree with you on whether it goes as far as that.<br /><br />I have my suspicions about that, but I better keep them to myself :-)Spacetravellerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02202131232540121117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-38417836751041978362012-02-14T04:11:02.355-08:002012-02-14T04:11:02.355-08:00@SpaceTraveler
But what stops most of them from p...@SpaceTraveler<br /><br /><i>But what stops most of them from proceeding with this plan of action?<br /><br />It is the absence of such a 'token interest' in a man that would prevent her from going all the way into her plan to annihilate you.<br />If she had loved you more than in a 'token' manner, I promise you, after her cooling off period, things would have been alright again.</i><br /><br />IMHO, the situation with Wife #1 was atypical. This was not, "I love you, but I'm not <b> in love</b> with you." Rather, this was the inverse. She didn't love me, but she loved the fact that I was in love with her. She treasured the relationship, just not me. She didn't care what I did, so long as the relationship endured. As long as I remained the dutiful and supportive wife, I could do as I pleased.<br /><br />Why did she act out what other women in similar situations only contemplate? I can't say for sure. My conclusion was that she had developed a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. <br /><br />She saw no boundaries between what she wanted and my life. I was an implement to help her achieve her ends. She wanted a powerful career: I was there to support her. She wanted to be seen as having a great marriage: I was the dutiful and adoring husband. She wanted intelligent, well-mannered children: I nurtured them.<br /><br />When I stopped providing those things, she first sought to coerce me back into line. She told me directly she would inflict so much pain on every aspect of my life that I would stop the divorce and return. And she tried her best.<br /><br />Why don't other women in similar situations go thru with such actions? I think because of a sense of limits, which Wife #1 lacked. <br /><br />BillAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-4352500653599762852012-02-14T03:38:28.946-08:002012-02-14T03:38:28.946-08:00@ Bill,
"She tried to mobilize the small ch...@ Bill,<br /><br /><i> "She tried to mobilize the small church we attended into shaming me enough to end the divorce. I left. The priest got "reassigned" to an obscure backwater church. And most of the spiritually healthy members of the congregation left.<br /><br />Since i was still in the military when the divorce began, she contacted my commanding officer. She told him I was erratic and suicidal and that I should be committed to a psychiatric facility. He declined to do so." </i> <br /><br />This is actually fairly typical behaviour for a woman who is hurt and has gone 'emotional'.<br />At least the <i> thought </i> of doing stuff like this would cross most women's minds. It is 'normal'.<br />But what stops most of them from proceeding with this plan of action?<br />I refer back to your heartrending comment which you made at 3.38PM; Feb 12, and which I respond to in my comment at 2.41AM, Feb 13.<br /><br />It is the absence of such a 'token interest' in a man that would prevent her from going all the way into her plan to annihilate you.<br />If she had loved you more than in a 'token' manner, I promise you, after her cooling off period, things would have been alright again.<br /><br />I am sorry you encountered a situation like this.<br /><br /><br /><br />@ Danny,<br /><br />They know there are other women? And they are OK with that?<br />Are you sure?<br /><br />I have a theory as to why they don't really ask questions...<br /><br />But I wonder if any other women have their own theory on this before I divulge mine?Spacetravellerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02202131232540121117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-59733634843852551072012-02-13T18:58:07.221-08:002012-02-13T18:58:07.221-08:00i had/have a soft harem. they know they aren't...i had/have a soft harem. they know they aren't the only ones i have but they also don't really ask about it too much.dannyfrom504http://dannyfrom504.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-48290661322867627922012-02-13T03:37:54.922-08:002012-02-13T03:37:54.922-08:00@SpaceTraveler
Perhaps she felt this way too?
I ...@SpaceTraveler<br /><br /><i>Perhaps she felt this way too?</i><br /><br />I don't really know. How do any of us know what's really going on within the mind of another?<br /><br />She expressed little anger about my adultery and no remorse about her own. Her anger and resentment were directed towards my decision to divorce her. The rationalization hamster was spinning the wheel at Mach 1.<br /><br />During the divorce, she told me that I could continue my affair, as long as I stopped the divorce.<br /><br />She tried to mobilize the small church we attended into shaming me enough to end the divorce. I left. The priest got "reassigned" to an obscure backwater church. And most of the spiritually healthy members of the congregation left.<br /><br />Since i was still in the military when the divorce began, she contacted my commanding officer. She told him I was erratic and suicidal and that I should be committed to a psychiatric facility. He declined to do so.<br /><br />I think Danny is trying to open a private line of communication for us.<br /><br />BillAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-19466458244865154012012-02-13T02:41:46.127-08:002012-02-13T02:41:46.127-08:00@ Bill,
"MGTOW squared and cubed. Bitter gu...@ Bill,<br /><br /><i> "MGTOW squared and cubed. Bitter guys who go off the reservation..That's my take." </i> <br /><br />I like 'your take', Bill.<br /><br />The thing with MGTOW is that it is in fact a self-regulating problem. A woman cannot communicate with a MGHOW who never comes back nor looks back, no matter how far out of the reservation she ventures in search of him.<br />If he has left the playing field, his scorecard is reset to zero and given to someone else. The only ones in the sporting arena are those willing to play the game.<br /><br /><i> "As the years went by, I realized that my wife would never have more than a token interest in me." </i> <br /><br />This is undoubtedly one of the saddest things I have ever heard come out of a man's mouth.<br />And of course, I have indeed heard this many times.<br />A man should never have to speak of his wife (present or former) in these terms. <br />A woman who LJBF'ed him 10 years ago, sure. <br />A woman who he had a casual thing with, sure. <br />But not his wife.<br />I have personally seen what this sentiment does to a man. Not nice.<br />So I feel for you.<br /><br /><i> "I felt guilt at breaking my marriage vows. As my adultery continued over the years, that guilt corroded my soul. I hated myself." </i> <br /><br />Perhaps she felt this way too?<br /><br /><br />Re your comment @ 3.41PM, problem solved.Spacetravellerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02202131232540121117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-10282539283672731432012-02-12T18:31:47.506-08:002012-02-12T18:31:47.506-08:00@SpaceTraveler
I understand that when someone exp...@SpaceTraveler<br /><br /><i>I understand that when someone experiences their greatest fear, they have one of several reactions:<br /><br />1. They cease to have any more fears, i.e. the worst has happened, so they're 'done.' Such people are slightly 'dangerous' because they are utterly fearless and can be therefore scary, in a good way :-)<br /><br />2. They become fearful of the next tragedy round the corner. They become the 'walking dead', too afraid to live life anymore.<br /><br />3. They get slightly unhinged in that they think, 'huh, was that ALL'? and they actively seek out more pain because now they think, 'if I could handle the last one...'<br /><br />The difference between this group and Goup No 1 is that Group No 1 don't go looking for trouble. They are not gluttons for punishment, but are stronger than before.<br /><br />Question: Which group do you think you are in? And which group do you think most men are really in, deep down when it comes to a failed marriage?</i><br /><br />I'm in Group 1. I can explain why, but I'd rather not do it in public..<br /><br />I can't really speak for other men. We don't get together, talk about these things, and compare notes.<br /><br />Big life tragedies, like divorce, change people. <br /><br />Men who were fearless Alphas can lose their self-confidence, the thing that makes them Alphas. <br /><br />Betas can stop caring about the people around them, part of their Beta essence.<br /><br />Those poor schlubs who married the only woman who ever noticed them get divorced and give up on women altogether. MGTOW squared and cubed. Bitter guys who go off the reservation..<br /><br />That's my take.<br /><br />BillAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-4172112274986661472012-02-12T15:38:50.264-08:002012-02-12T15:38:50.264-08:00@SpaceTraveler
You mentioned an infidelity on you...@SpaceTraveler<br /><br /><i>You mentioned an infidelity on your part. Was it done as 'revenge' to Wife No 1 because of her own infidelity, or was it more 'accidental' than that.<br />Do you feel then, that you are 'even' in some way, and therefore is her infidelity easier to forgive? Or does it make no difference at all, because she was the first to cheat?</i><br /><br />No thought of revenge. She had asked my permission to have her affair (this was in the early 1980s, "open marriage" and all that BS). I didn't know until after the divorce that she started years before she asked for permission. And kept getting new partners along the way.<br /><br />I felt guilt at breaking my marriage vows. As my adultery continued over the years, that guilt corroded my soul. I hated myself.<br /><br />As the years went by, I realized that my wife would never have more than a token interest in me. I needed the other woman's attention in order to stay married to Wife #1. I finally accepted that, in order to end the affair, I would also have to divorce my wife.<br /><br />It sucked.<br /><br />BillAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-85617767203104487042012-02-12T14:58:37.699-08:002012-02-12T14:58:37.699-08:00@SpaceTraveler
I'll follow up on some of this...@SpaceTraveler<br /><br />I'll follow up on some of this privately.<br /><br />As for "bang-to-buck ratio", it's how many bucks I have to spend to get laid.<br /><br />Examples:<br /><br />1. Dinner for two at a nice restaurant could easily top $50. Add drinks for $20 or $30 more, maybe a movie for $15. A single date, which might end in a ONS, could easily cost $100. One bang for $100.<br /><br />2. Same date results in an ongoing relationship. Some future dates are similar, some much less expensive ($20 - 30), and some are zero cost (sex only). Bang to buck probably under $50.<br /><br />3. "Escort" from Craigslist could easily to $150 for a "date".<br /><br />BillAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5312159882790612546.post-17986323233487146002012-02-12T14:13:31.928-08:002012-02-12T14:13:31.928-08:00@ Bill,
I must say I really appreciate you giving...@ Bill,<br /><br />I must say I really appreciate you giving so much detail about your life experiences here.<br />It is invaluable to those of us who haven't been through as much as you and would like some guidance.<br />So thank you again.<br /><br />I have heard more than one man say they prefer a LTR with one (or a few!) women than ONS.<br />Being a woman, and seeing the behaviour (and knowing the biology :-) of men, I did find it hard to believe that, I have to say. Until I realised that wanting something and going about it the wrong way are not in fact mutually exclusive :-)<br /><br />But seriously, is this really true for the majority of men?<br />Really??<br />Or just a principled few?<br /><br />You mentioned an infidelity on your part. Was it done as 'revenge' to Wife No 1 because of her own infidelity, or was it more 'accidental' than that.<br />Do you feel then, that you are 'even' in some way, and therefore is her infidelity easier to forgive? Or does it make no difference at all, because she was the first to cheat?<br />I just want to understand the 'dynamics' of this, if you are able to share.<br /><br />I understand that when someone experiences their greatest fear, they have one of several reactions:<br />1. They cease to have any more fears, i.e. the worst has happened, so they're 'done.' Such people are slightly 'dangerous' because they are utterly fearless and can be therefore scary, in a good way :-)<br /><br />2. They become fearful of the next tragedy round the corner. They become the 'walking dead', too afraid to live life anymore.<br /><br />3. They get slightly unhinged in that they think, 'huh, was that ALL'? and they actively seek out more pain because now they think, 'if I could handle the last one...'<br />The difference between this group and Goup No 1 is that Group No 1 don't go looking for trouble. They are not gluttons for punishment, but are stronger than before.<br /><br />Question: Which group do you think you are in? And which group do you think most men are really in, deep down when it comes to a failed marriage?<br /><br />I have heard it said that after a failed marriage, women turn against men, but men turn against marriage.<br />I don't know if people here agree or disagree with that.<br />In your case, you got married twice more after No 1, so it isn't true for you. Until now, anyway.<br /><br /><br />By the way, what is a 'bang-to-buck ratio'?Spacetravellerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02202131232540121117noreply@blogger.com