Bear Mountain

As opposed to Brokeback Mountain :-)

This is the male version of 'La Isla Bonita'.

Well, I did promise...
To write a post about what we ladies find attractive in you gentlemen :-)

If the perfect place to find the perfect woman is a tropical island complete with fragrant flowers (connotations of 'femininity'), I imagine the perfect place to find the perfect man would be a mountain (bastion of 'masculinity').
Do the ladies agree with me?

And the image of a big wild animal like a bear doesn't hurt the fantasy either :-)


Now, why a bear?, you may ask...
To answer this question,  I need to make a few declarations, lol.

I have realised something strange.
It was so much easier for me to define 'the perfect woman' because I could be totally objective about it, given that I was not the target audience for such a topic.

But all of a sudden, when the tables are turned, I get all self-conscious.
The only way to cure this is to 'divorce' myself from this post.
Nothing I describe here necessarily applies to me.
There, I feel better now :-)

However, I also know that I convince no-one. I may think I have divorced myself from this post, but it has to be said that I can only give my opinion o this topic.

Thus, this is an unedited peak into a female soul. Notably mine, to be precise.
But...it will only be as unedited as my Catholic self will allow.
For anything more, gentlemen, you would have to put a ring on it :-)



To me, a bear is the ideal masculine animal.
Why?
(And this is not because we have recently been joined by a Himalayan Bear, lol!)

A tiger or lion is equally masculine, if not more so than a bear.
But I find that these male animals are perhaps what one might call 'undiluted alpha'...
They will roar at you and tear your limbs apart before saying 'hello'.
There is only so much 'rawness' a female can take :-)

A bear is big, strong, and you know he could ravish you in a second, yes.
But he is also cuddly. Think 'teddy bear'. Every girl has one :-)
So a bear is dangerous, but at the same time, potentially (surprisingly, perhaps) friendly.
A heady mix indeed...
Alpha and beta. In just the perfect proportions :-)


Now this should be good news for all you men with paunches* out there...
Sure, a young woman (who is more 'visual' than her older counterpart) may want this:

 

But she soon outgrows this. Certainly if this is all he has to offer.

 

Whilst a man stays visual, a woman becomes less and less visual as she matures. Some are never visual to start with.

Notice I did not protest too much when Bellita mentioned that Jeremy Clarkson would be OK for me, in the post 'Lean on me'.



Neither Bellita nor I would object to a 'Jeremy Clarkson' look-alike, it seems :-)

At some point in her life, a woman wants a 'bear'. The right mix of 'alpha' and 'beta'.
*(But...and I am going to be a massive wet blanket here...if the paunch is a danger to your health, then please sort it out.
A woman may not be 'visual'. But she doesn't want to be a widow before her time either. A waist-to-hip ratio way beyond 1 is a cardiovascular time bomb...)

Now speaking of waist-to-hip ratio, I know this is more applicable to women, yes.

I think the eqiuivalent for men is his waist-to-shoulder ratio.
This is why the types like our male model friend above, with their V-shaped torsos are so attractive to young women...

To me, the perfect 'bear' ever is....Fred Flintstone! Where 'bear' meets 'caveman' meets 'Tarzan'.
Female heaven...
I LOVE The Flintstones!
For a long time, I wanted to be Pebbles. Then I thought, forget Pebbles, I wanna be Wilma :-)
I don't mind Barney Rubbles, but he is just a teeny weeny bit too beta for me :-(

Whoever said John Goodman was born to play Fred Flintstone was absolutely right. I already liked him in 'RoseAnn', but as Fred Flintstone, he exceeded my expectations ... Seriously.

Marriage counselling Bedrock style :-)

The real life Flintstones...
(Clearly, I committed a major transgression by omitting Miss. Stone aka Halle Berry from the post 'La Isla Bonita' :-)

 

 

And how sad when the Rubbles and The Flintstones fell out :-(

 



 

Got to get an alarm-clock like this one!

 

Moving swiftly on...


So, the perfect man...

This is JV's ideal:

I think that my perfect ideal would be rather old fashioned. Someone with character, courage, self respect, skills and ability.

JV's was the only answer to the question 'What is a woman's idea of masculine utopia', but that's OK, because it provides me with plenty to work with :-)


Character

I think women smell this out in a man more accurately than men think.
I think the 'weakness' in the system is where a woman chooses to ignore aspects of a man's character that she knows she cannot handle. I say this with some authority because I know that whereas men complain bitterly that they have been 'blindsided' by a horrible woman who was a 'wolf in sheep's clothing' at the start of their relationship, very few women are 'surprised' in this way.
I put 'weakness' in inverted commas because I do not actually believe it is a weakness per se.
In many ways, I recognise it as an essential (if tiresome!) part of femininity.
It is part of seeing a man of interest as a 'lovable rogue'.
Once in a blue moon he is just not worth it...
But most are.

To borrow Bellita's 'sizzle' and 'steak' analogies again, a (mature) woman recognises a man who has 'been through something' and has come out the other side. A man who has been 'initiated' and is truly ready for her.
It takes one to know one though.
For a man's good character to be seen by a woman, she too needs to have good character.


Courage and Confidence

I don't need to say too much about this, I hope.
A courageous man is simply opium for the fairer sex.
And it can take so many forms: The fireman who rescues the child from the burning ustairs bedroom at night, the man who admits to his part in the failure of the company and suitably 'falls on his sword', the father who fights to see his son because he knows this is essential to the wellbeing of that boy...
Courage in today's world is not always appreciated, or even wanted.
But a man who shows it nonetheless is not doing it for 'show'.
Paradoxically, however, it never goes unnoticed...
Whether or not the entourage of said man choose to admit it.


Self respect

A self-respecting man, like a self-respecting woman is magnetic. I am sure JV would agree. These are the men every woman has in mind when they say things like 'Where are all the good men'?
It has nothing to do with 'good' per se.
It has everything to do with self-assuredness and an unshakeable belief in himself, which even the woman in question somehow knows that she cannot break.
And this one cannot be faked.


Skills and ability

Need I say more? He has to demonstrate an ability of some sort. One which could or is a source of income. It ties in with self-respect and confidence. No (self-respecting) woman wants a bum. Even if her hindbrain leads her to one. When she wakes up from her slumber, she will be off. And rightly so.



I hereby add one of my own, but only because I believe not many women would disgaree with me on this one.

Humour

A man who can diffuse a potentially flammable situation with humour gets my vote every time :-)
Because it shows courage, character, self-respect, skills and ability all rolled into one.

Danny has many posts about making a woman laugh. I agree with every single one of them.
Not to say that a man is supposed to be a woman's source of entertainment forever, of course.
But it really helps the attraction thing along, in a way that is not necessarily true of the reverse situation. A man does not respond nearly the same way to a funny woman as she would to him, in my experience.

To this end, I pick Will Smith as an example, not with his macho, alien-fighting, gun-toting, heroic image, but rather with his funny self.
When he was 'Fresh Prince of Bel Air'.

I found this scene to be particularly funny, especially the last part where he impersonates a woman.
Being British, humour is a way of life for me.

 

Hm, echoes of The Flintstones' counselling session here :-)

But for me personally, nothing trumps my auditory nature.

Serenade me like this, and you get me at 'hello' :-)

Barry White is another one who gets me going...
I once said I was not as enthralled by the male singing voice as I was by the female singing voice.
Turns out this is not strictly true...

This clip from 'Ally McBeal' appeals...
Perhaps this should be classified under 'Humour'.
Gentlemen, your goofy moves like these can be so endearing to a woman!
:-)

Speaking of goofy dances...
To all those men hell-bent on vasectomies, do you really want to pass up on this opportunity to show yourself in all your dancing glory at her Bat-Mitzvah?
(This thinly-veiled jibe at the vasectomy crowd was cleared and approved by my unrepentant hamster :-)

 

 

And if you are not Jewish, well, then you'll just have to wait until her wedding day...

And who was it that said fathers were unnecessary?
This woman is well on her way to being a good wife already. Because she has a father. One who cares.
What a treasured memory she will have forever and ever from this special day!

 

 

 

So there we have it...

An ode of sorts to you gentlemen.

 

Carry on being your lovable, goofy, bear-like selves :-)

And some of us ladies will leave the burning village for you...