I have been doing some relocating lately, which largely explains my absence from this blog in a while.
Rather fortuitously, I ended up in a city well known for its high content of sailors :-)
I happen to be a fan of sailors. But I do solemnly swear that my relocation to sailor-city was purely accidental :-)
Not at all of my own doing, except that rejection of all other choices may have had something to do with it :-)
As it happens, I now have military personnel as colleagues. And increasingly, so are the clients or their families.
I seem to have come full circle from this era.
But not everyone is a fan of sailors, for some reason.
Hmm.
A delightful 75 year old lady I was talking to (during the course of my work) demonstrates this anti-sailor message quite vividly.
I needed to check up on her lifestyle.
To the question 'do you smoke?' she replied with a mischievous smile:
"I was told by my mother when I was young to avoid three things in life", she said.
"Don't smoke, don't drink, and stay away from the sailors!"
To my "but I am only in this city because I heard there were sailors here!" she gave a naughty grin and shook her head in mock shock :-)
But she was clearly the naughty type :-)
She had married a Naval Officer, lol. So, which part of 'stay away from sailors!' had she not understood, I ponder to this day :-)
Interestingly, she had indeed never smoked nor so much as sipped alcohol in her entire life.
But them sailors, ay, ay, couldn't avoid them :-)
Do sailors have the best Game, I wonder?
(Rhetorical question).
My encounter with that woman made me think for days about what's missing in today's womanhood.
Clearly, this woman's mother was passing on Girl Game to her daughter.
'Avoiding sailors' was just a euphemism for 'Be a good girl'.
And I am sure that she was a good girl, despite eventually marrying a sailor ;-)
Why is Girl Game not being successfully transmitted between generations in today's SMP?
Is it that....
1. Mothers are not passing this message on. If this is the case, why not?
2. Daughters are not listening. If this is the case, why not?
3. Daughters are listening but not hearing the nessage. If this is the case, what is causing this selective deafness? Do we need government-funded hearing aids for girls ala Sandra Fluke?
4. None of the above. If this is the case, what is the problem?
5. All of the above, and then some.
I am curious.
The above lady has grandchildren. But something tells me they may not be like her.
So, is it her fault or does the fault lie somewhere else?
There is no doubt that there is a fault somewhere...
But where?
Wouldn't it be nice to identify the source of the stench....
Please help me out :-)
In other news, there is one sailor I could never stay away from...
But that's OK, (at least that's what my hamster says) he's everyone's favourite sailor :-)
9 comments:
Indeed. I've been gone a while, myself, but my son has stabilized, so I can indulge in the internet again.
Of course you should stay away from sailors... we've been all over this world in a short time, and have learned far more than most learn in a lifetime. We've seen the best and the worst of humanity, and we're damned good at spotting both.
And despite your question being rhetorical, you know damned well who has the best Game, even if we usually ignore it. I'm sure Danny will back me up when I say that 8404 is the best of the best, naturally.
Girl Game? With all due respect, young lady, I've not met a female with Girl Game who is younger than 50. The French have a saying that a woman does not become interesting until 30, and a man until his 40th birthday. Women are quite simply too busy blaming everything on patriarchy to admit they have no clue how to flirt. My answer to your question is 5, all of the above plus more that you have not even considered.
The Navy Corpsman
H,ST!
You raise some interesting questions!
Clearly, this woman's mother was passing on Girl Game to her daughter.
'Avoiding sailors' was just a euphemism for 'Be a good girl'.
And I am sure that she was a good girl, despite eventually marrying a sailor ;-)
Why is Girl Game not being successfully transmitted between generations in today's SMP?
Is it that....
1. Mothers are not passing this message on. If this is the case, why not?
2. Daughters are not listening. If this is the case, why not?
3. Daughters are listening but not hearing the message. If this is the case, what is causing this selective deafness? Do we need government-funded hearing aids for girls ala Sandra Fluke?
Me: Hmm...I think that when the lady you spoke to was a young lady, there was a far more universal definition of a "good girl" than there is today. This universal definition existed across cultures and nationalities.
We both know what that definition was. Today, that idea of a good girl is seen by many as too limiting and if anything, impossible to meet in today's world. For some it might even be irrelevant.
Some mothers cling, of course, to the old version. Other mothers might tell their daughters some version of the old one, but fudge things a bit: that is the ideal, but it is impossible to meet in today's society, so modify it a bit, and here, I'm drawing upon your analogy.
It might be impossible to avoid the sailors. But if you hang out with them, look for the decent ones, be careful, take care of yourself, be discreet, and limit the number of sailors you hang out with.
Now some daughters might hear the old version but find themselves at a disadvantage in a world where all the other young women seem to flirt with sailors on occasion. They stay at home and no one even talks to them!
So they might start joining the others....
It's quite possible that "stay away from sailors" would be interpreted as "sailors give you tingles".
A tack that gives them less preselection would be something like "aww, isn't that sailor so cute, he's dressed just like you when you were 3."
NC,
Welcome back!
Your son has stabilized?...I am not sure what this means...sounds ominously like he was ill. I hope he continues in the right direction towards recovery.
You know...it has recently struck me as rather interesting that not all military men have the same reputation!
Let me explain:
I think Army men (much like the Vikings in Northern England and Scotland) are viewed as downrigt dangerous...so 'stay away from soldiers' has connortations of 'you might get killed or raped', whereas 'stay away from the sailors' denotes 'don't flirt with friendly fire' and alludes to the notion that a sailor won't brutally attack you - he is infinitely more likely to charm you, in a way that makes you lose your head :-)
So yes, the sailor definitely has more Game according to the perception on Planet Woman :-)
But I may be biased - I do like military sailors (aka Navy guys)...As you know, I have worked with them in the past and I have a special affection for them, lol.
I have no particular allegiance to the Army, although I do respect the work of all military personnel, of course...
Somehow, the Air Force guys never seem to feature in the SMP jibes...
Will our avian sisterhood have something to say about this? Could the British slang 'bird' meaning 'woman' have its origins in Air Force jocular jargn?
Hm, the mind boggles...
Yes, NC, I do agree with you that true Girl Game is irrevocably lost, but there are pockets of some vestiges thereof in isolated corners of Planet Woman :-)
Occasionally, one sees a young woman with breathtaking Girl Game, but the bucketloads that were possessd by our mothers and grandmothers have been lost - perhaps for good.
What a shame...
But why? Why did previous generations of women allow this loss to happen?
Perhaps they did not value Girl Game? I would find that hard to believe!
What factors have I not yet considered?
I spoke to Danny about this, by the way. He had some interesting opinions about this...
PVW,
Oh yes, for sure 'stay away from the sailors' is a euphemism for something else.
It is 'code' between women, yes.
But you make an interesting point too...
Which is, this sort of 'blanket message' is actually designed to be modified by its audience.
The lady in question used a perfectly valid modification to good use. She not only did not stay away from sailors, she married one!
And still her mother (I am sure) would not have felt she disobeyed her.
The point of this message is not to be taken literally ...as you say, it is a subtle code of conduct.
Consider this little joke:
Little Tricia was told by her Mum not to show her underwear whilst out climbing trees with her friends.
After a day of tree-climbing one day, her mother asked her: 'Tricia, did you make sure no-one saw your underwear when you were out playing with your friends today?'
Tricia said proudly to her Mum:
'Oh don't worry Mum, to make sure no-one saw my underwear while I was climbing the trees with my friends, I took my underwear off and packed them in my schoolbag!'
I think Tricia did not really understand the point of the exercise...lol.
But the lady I talk about did understand what her Mum was on about.
As you say, PVW, the point was not to avoid sailors per se - the point was to avoid getting used in the wrong way, by any man. If you got a decent man to marry you, his being a sailor becomes immaterial....
The point was to get to the altar...and to get there, one had to avoid 'unsavoury types'. Poor sailor guys had somehow earned the title of 'unsavoury' throughout the ages. I am sure NC can tell us why.
:-)
"A tack that gives them less preselection would be something like "aww, isn't that sailor so cute, he's dressed just like you when you were 3.""
Hahahahaha, Ceer.
The last thing a girl needs is to perceive a sailor (read: cunning devils they are :-) as a cute character. Remember, they are the master PUAs! Adding cuteness to their list of credentials is asking for trouble...
You might think that this tactic would make sailors less desirable by otherwise uninterested women...but hey, you might be wrong here!
It doesn't matter if you put an alpha in a pink frilly tutu - a woman would still find him attractive :-0
Yes, we are not exactly logical, are we...
:P
My son is suffering the after affects of a traumatic brain injury following IED explosions in Iraq. His truck was blown in two, then the ambulance truck in which he was being transported was blown up less than an hour later. He was doing fairly well after returning to the USA, but has since had some problems, and we went to help out as best as we can.
As for WHY girl game has become rare, I suspect it has a lot to do with the overall rejection of traditional female roles in society. You could blame it on feminism, which would be at least partly true, but I also think that society itself has evolved to a far more gender-neutral mindset, where both males and females are wary of being accused of sexism/racism/lookism/bias in any way.
I probably should not have said I have not known any women under 50 who have girl-game. My own age might have a lot to do with that perception, being as I don't normally meet women under the age of 40, in social situations. We don't go out much anymore, plus retirement has a way of slowing the pace down.
In any case, sexual attraction has become a repressed subject not unlike the Victorian age we THINK existed in the 19th century. In truth, the people of that time were probably far more sexually active than many people today, but they just did not discuss it. In 'modern' society, we have knowledge of herpes, HIV, a dozen new STDs, and newly antibiotic resistant but very old STDs such as gonorrhea. People are being far more careful with whom they enjoy sexual contact, but they talk about FAR more than any previous generation ever did. Result: it sounds as though everyone has more sexual contacts, but reality says not much more than in previous generations. Meanwhile, corporate lawyers insist that sexual harassment lectures be mandatory every year, the media is full of sex scandals of celebrities, and to finally answer your question, both mothers and daughters are increasingly holding the opinion that to act like a 'traditional' women who enjoys flirting, is akin to being traitorous to the womens' rights struggle.
Somehow, many many women have come to the conclusion that enjoying the attention and attraction of males is wrong. Do not misunderstand me... those women still love to be loved, but to behave with girl-game is bad. I once heard a conversation where two women were discussing this very topic, and one said to the other, "we may not shame women any more for being slutty, but we sure shame them for enjoying it."
The Navy Corpsman
NC,
So sorry to hear about your son.
I hope he makes a full recovery soon.
Thank you. Things are working out, slowly, but surely.
The Navy Corpsman
NC,
Glad to hear it. You must have had a trying time recently, and your whole family too.
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