Or the collective toes of manhood.
I suggested in a clumsy way in trying to pose a question, that 'Game' could be a retort against feminism.
I said other outrageous things that pushed all the wrong buttons for at least one person.
As I said in my response to that person, I was not 'fitness testing'. Which is true.
I was fishing for evidence that I am doing the right thing by identifying with the potentially contentious crowd that are collectively known as the Red Pill poppers.
I think we are cool now, Mr Displeased and I.
At least I hope so :-)
But this little episode taught me something that I thought I understood in principle, but I stll fail on in practice.
Never walk into the locker room.
I do avoid the locker room. Like the plague. Most of the time. But occasionally I accidentally find myself in it and then I have to run out again screaming and holding my head in my hands.
Masculinity is sacred to men. Just like femininity is sacred to women.
I get that.
The only reason I and other Red Pill women want to understand masculinity is purely to enable us to navigate seemingly confusing behaviour in men. We need/want to see beyond the haze. This may take some unauthorised trips to 'the locker room' to achieve. These trips are usually accidental, always fortuitous.
Beyond scraping the surface of masculinity, my interest wilts. As it should.
My last 'accidental' trip to the locker room saw me asking if perhaps some men saw feminism as a 'good thing' because it gave some men some incredible benefits.
Someone said 'Objection'!
So although I gave a good defence as to why I asked the question, I take it back.
Feminism in its worst form is bad for society. We are all agreed?
And Game in its purest form is about the sacred assembly of the highest order of masculinity in any given man.
So in penance for my transgressions (Erm, I know how to do penance really well, and we are still afterall in Lent, hehe) I dedicate this post to Masculinity (capital M) and all its participants and cheerleaders :-)
I was talking to a friend whom I haven't seen for a long time. During the course of our conversation she mentioned she had gone fishing with her husband the weekend before.
Not being particularly interested in fishing, I was non-plussed by this.
But she went on and on about this.
She had always resented the fact that her husband does not spend enough time with her and the kids. During the week and most saturdays he is working. And then on sundays, what does he do? Goes fishing :-)
Infuriating!
She has bugged him for years about this, but nothing's changed.
Then for some reason, after yet another argument, he calmly invited her to join him to go fishing. The kids were sent off to friends and off they went to go catch some fish.
She said that when they got to the lake and he set about preparing the fishing tackle and the lures and bait and what not, she couldn't help but notice a few thngs:
He took such great care to get his gear together. He seemed to be really concentrating on his 'work', all the while enthusiastically explaining to her why he thought such and such a manoeuvre would work and why that lure or other might not.
And at the same time he also seemed so relaxed and seemed to be enjoying himself.
They sat and he fished for hours.
At the beginning she said she was conversing with him. But after a while, she stopped talking and just enjoyed the peace and quiet with him. She said he seemed to enjoy the quiet more.
My friend told me she now understood why her husband went fishing so much. She now saw what it did for him. She felt it was a special experience for him. She just didn't know before.
Neither did I. Can't say I have ever been fishing. But now I know it can do for a man what a retail therapy session with the BFF can do for a girl :-)
I watched South African all-male choir 'Ladysmith Black Mambazo' sing the other day. These men became the symbol of hope for Nelson Mandela while he was in prison. He took them with him when he travelled the world - to Oslo when he received his Nobel Peace Prize, to England when he visited the Queen, and they were right there with him when he was inaugurated as president in 1994.
The call themselves 'the family'. One of them now has managed to recruit 4 of his sons into the choir. It is a bastion of maleness. A family of men.
And yet women are not necessarily excluded. These guys practise with their wives and girlfriends in their recoding studio all the time. Their children are heavily involved in their music. The next generation of Mambazos are being recruited with each practice session. The whole community is part of their wider team.
These men are a family of men, but everything they do is for both men and women to enjoy.
There are many other male and female equivalents of the Ladysmith Black Mambazo singers.
Any boyband or girlband that can truly call themselves a 'family' - not just a bunch of people thrown together for commercial gain.
Boy scouts. Girl guides or Brownies.
Women's organisations that have nothing to do with feminism. Like some 'Mothers' groups'.
It is indeed beautiful when a man or a woman knows what it is to be a man or a woman. It is only then that one becomes truly open to the other gender.
In individualistic terms, it is one's own sense of self that enables one to seek and understand another. If a self-identity is missing, one cannot fuse with another.
Lost describes another activity for men only. I think it would be great to have this tradition back in modern life, health issues aside.
Fishing, hunting (and I know that at least one man here hunts), sports...GREAT things for a man to do. If they feel so inclined, how cool would it be to involve willing womenfolk and children (um, occasionally?? if the thought of a regular stint is unpalatable to male tastes :-)
Many women have their own outdoor 'thing' too, although it may not necessarily coincide with a man's 'thing'.
I was going to include video games and watching TV to the above list...
But I know many women have 'issues' with these.
I know why:
A man who is out of sight playing football or fishing with his mates can be imagined to be doing amazingly wonderful 'manly' things.
If he is sitting right under your nose seemingly ignoring you whilst zoning out on a video game or TV it takes away from this illusion somewhat :-)
Leisure acitivity is on the decline in many ways, for both genders. Shame, because for one it may buck the trend of obesity for most people, being a fun way to lose weight and destress all at the same time.
Work is already something that men can see as a 'masculinity marker'. I can understand that. But unless 'work' is your own business or a passion of yours, a leisure activity, whether sporting or not is surely unbeatable in terms of your own little oasis of masculinity?
We should never stop doing what makes us masculine or feminine.
For it is a huge facet of our essence, no?
