The lovable rogue

So, to summarise the message about what men want in a woman, would I be correct in saying that a man wants a woman who is not a word rhyming with 'rut', but shows signs of and wants to become his word rhyming with 'rut'? He wants exclusive rights to her. Forever.
Correct?
Or am I missing a huge piece of the puzzle?

Anyhow, I was thinking about what would summarise what women want in a man.
It struck me that all the articles/books/blogs and courses on 'Girl Game', i.e. teaching women to be more feminine all have one thing in common.
They all focus on getting women to adopt the attitude that all men are rogues. And to accept them as such.

Yes. It's true.
But don't panic.

I forgot the crucial word.
Lovable rogue.

That's it right there.

I think this is the source of a woman's love for any man. It doesn't even have to be a romantic partner. Absolutely any man.
It could be her father, her boss, her pervy co-worker, her annoying little brother.
If she can see all or most men as 'lovable rogues', she can handle any guy.

Maybe this is what went wrong with the whole nth wave feminism thing.
This crucial element of femininity flew out the window.
And for the first time in history, we had women who really hated men.
It may have started out as some weird form of p-envy like I suggested before, but then it certainly graduated into full-blown hatred in some cases.

And then the Pandora's box was well and truly opened, and we will have difficulty finding the lid nevermind closing the box.

All men are 'tricky b*st*rds' :-)
And we women being the celestial bodies that we are, have to put up with them :-)

What?

I think there is an inbuilt 'male tolerance' hourglass device that all women are born with. I have no scientific proof for this apparel but I think I can see evidence of its existence.
Look how little girls adore Daddy and then forty years later how the same girl might treat her beta husband.

Allow me to explain.
I think this hourglass device is filled up to the brim with sand at birth. Look at it like the biological clock thing. A woman has a finite number of eggs and a finite tolerance to men from Day 1.
Both can only deplete with time.

If a girl has good experiences with men throughout her life, her hourglass thing will still be relatively full even in her fifties.

If she has to deal with more than her fair share of 'Swiss bankers'** in whatever shape or form that may take, the device gets emptied out alarmingly rapidly.
And when she's out, God help the next guy she stumbles across.
Not her fault, perhaps?
Same as you wouldn't blame a car if it wouldn't start because you didn't put petrol in it?
I dunno.

So, how does a woman avoid depleting her stores of 'man tolerance'?
I really don't know.

Some women perhaps have a huge supply.
These women are probably at risk of becoming the Mama of  Mama's boys. Or the 'enabler' as in the sister or female cousin of a Mama's boy. These women are (annoyingly, to other women) very protective of their menfolk, sometimes unreasonably so :-). And they are almost always a product of patriarchy as opposed to matriarchy.
Others are born with small quantities to begin with.
Perhaps men would be better advised to find out the size of this device in a woman rather than checking out the size of her 'rack', but somehow, I don't think this would work, because that would be like asking gorillas to stop eating bananas :-)

Having a good Dad can certainly help. Because he is the first man in a woman's life.
Having  a good Mother is crucial here, because she can cultivate this attitude in a girl from a young age. And how Mother treats Father, in front of daughter goes a long way in her 'education' on men.

But how can men themselves avoid getting the raw end of the deal?

Well, women already think you are a rogue. Even your mother. Especially your mother :-)
If you don't believe me, try eavesdropping on her next conversation with the girl who lives four doors down from you. You know, your ex.
Huh? You didn't know she was still talking to your ex?
*shakes head*
Trust me, she is. And she is telling her all about your recent shenanigans.

But that's all good.
The fact that you are considered a rogue is not all bad.
Beacuse you could be a lovable one.
Good job you don't have to 'game' your mother or your sisters because they already think you are lovable and that the sun rises and sets on your __________.
(Unless you did something bad to upset them - ala Christian Bale and Eminem - and even so, after the 'cooling down' period, you will be back in everyone's good books again).


A man who demonstrates that he actually likes women can be forgiven all sorts of howlers by a woman who notices this.
Yes I am looking at you Danny :-)

The guys we all love to hate on and call 'badass alphas' are perhaps not all in the same category.
I am sure most of them are true 'badass alpha'.
But a few are perhaps 'mis-labelled'.
They are rogues who are actually truly lovable in the sense that they don't just turn on the charm when it suits them, but actually have a heart which they only reveal to precious few.
So they are lovable rogues, but only one 'special' woman gets to see that.
A good example might be Captain Corelli.

So, gentlemen, if this applies to you (you are 'looking', you are 'interested' or you 'might be tempted if the opportunity presents itself' :-) you will be happiest if you are some woman's 'lovable rogue'.

We all know you are not an angel :-) but in all fairness neither is this woman.

But she should see you as a lovable rogue such that no matter how unlovable you become to everyone else, to this woman, you will still be lovable, even if she needs some time to cool off after one of your 'antics'.

It is important to remember here that women are generally herd creatures. Some women are picky about which herd they belong to, but they are still herd creatures nonetheless.
If you are already surrounded by women who think you are a lovable rogue, i.e. mother and sisters, any new woman who joins the herd around you will adopt the herd mentality where you are concerned. If none of your female entourage think you are lovable, it would take a very brave woman indeed to take you on. These women exist of course, but they are rare, and you would have to be rather special for her to do this :-)

This is part of the deal with the whole female behaviour regarding 'preselection'.
It is an inbuilt female mechanism to ensure her own 'safety'. Her lovable rogue will not harm her. Even if he harms others (outside the herd).
Unfortunately, a woman is also capable of rationalising a truly bad man as a 'lovable rogue' when this is really not the case. But there we are.

Why would a woman do this?
Because she wants a 'lovable rogue'. So even if he is a true rogue, she will do her best to make him 'lovable' in her mind. Until it is clear that he is indeed just another rogue. Forget lovable - just another run-of-the-mill unlovable rogue. At this point, the end is nigh. Unless she can somehow find a way to top up on her hourglass device :-) Which usually involves some sort of divine intervention :-)

In general, though, for a successful longterm relationship, she, as the relationship expert, has to see you as this 'lovable rogue'. Real or imagined.
I know what y'all are thinking...
Wake up and smell the coffee, Spacetraveller! No such thing!

Ok, Ok, I hear ya.
Just saying...
:-)

I love the film 'Legends of the fall'.
If anyone has seen it, first one to volunteer which of the three brothers is the 'lovable rogue' and why, gets a gold star :-)
(Hint: This is not a trick question).

**Euphemism as is common in British 'Cockney rhyme' to describe a man who is 'not very nice'. Substitute 'w' for 'b' and remove the word 'Swiss'. If still not sure what it means, Wikipedia to the rescue!