Friday, June 14, 2013


There seems to be a new trend that I missed before.
But now I see it everywhere I look.
And using my 'retrospectoscope', I realise now that in fact I have been seeing this trend for a long time.

Don't suck in your breath expecting the worst. This is a good trend :-)

Consider these words:

 "They have brought shame to the family and the entire community."
"They are losers".
" If you are alive, turn yourself in and ask for forgiveness."

The words of a (loving) uncle?
Actually yes.

And this picture?

The killing was committed by a Nigerian (in the UK).
Both of these examples demonstrate what I call 'self-policing'.
The family of the Tsarnaev brothers showed their disapproval of their bombing of the Boston marathon.
The Nigerian community of the UK came out strongly to condemn the actions of one of their own.
Do you come from a self-policing family or community? Are you a part of the self-policing mechanism of your community?
Will your brother or sister or mother 'tell it as it is' when you do something not so honourable?
Or will they defend you to the bitter end, knowing you are wrong?
I have been impressed lately by all the self-policing I see around me. Which reminds me of the self-policing I witnessed a long time ago when I failed to see its significance.
I attended a wedding a while ago where the groom's brother (the best man) said to the bride:
"If he (the groom) misbehaves, don't get your Dad, call me instead. I'll whip him into shape for ya."
(Um, for some reason the bride's father, in his speech didn't feel inclined to reassure the groom that he would 'whip his daughter into shape' if she misbehaved, lol.
But hey, who said this world was supposed to be a fair world :-)
The point about self-policing?
It gets the next generation thinking. Hard.
The Tsarnaev brothers were dubbed 'losers' by their own uncle.
What a tuly shameful position to be in.
Michael Adebolayo was effectively disowned by his own community.
A fate worse than death to a previously 'family-orientated' and 'community-orientated' man.
The next generation of would-be bombers and axe-murderers would surely take note of the public shaming of these outcasts by their own families, and rethink their next move.
At least one would sincerely hope so.
I had really thought self-policing was out of fashion.
But it looks like it's back in big time :-)
A person who is from a self-policing community soon learns to self-police himself or herself.
Those who are not 'policed' in this way are left to their own devices and continue on their wayward path to destruction.
So it is with bated breath that I watch to see if this old but renewed trend will continue.
It is brutal shaming from one's nearest and dearest, on the most public of stages (the worldwide media), but perhaps it happens all too often when the damage is already done.
Hopefully it starts when the toddler starts stealing jam tarts from the cookie jar :-)
And what about parallels with the SMP?
I don't know what happens on the other (male) side of the fence, but I notice that feminism is a potent disabler of self-policing among women.
A woman cannot be 'policed' by anyone around her, lest she be 'offended'.
In many ways, she is left to her own devices against her own best interests.
Which puts extra pressure on her own conscience and moral character, both of which are by default 'underdeveloped' under the jurisdiction of feminism.
A vicious cycle which is difficult to break.
Sometimes 'free rein' is a bad thing.
But under the right conditions, it can be a wonderful thing.
The only way to create the 'right conditions' is to shoot for an ambience of ubiquitous self-policing.
Is this achievable?
I think so.
Somehow yes, it must be.


Ceer said...

You're on to something. Feminism isn't against self's against any opposing view point self policing.

For example: a young attractive woman goes up to her female boss asking for reduced hours/maternity leave. Said less attractive boss is just SHOCKED that a young up and commer like her would do that. Wasn't she serious about her job?

Self policing on the whole is about how a group maintains social cohesion. Which is why anyone saying something callous to a woman like "maybe you should dress less slutty if you want to snag a quality man" is elevated to the level of a hate crime. It's a type of competing worldview that they're trying to crush.

You're right that women are particularly affected by this form of pressure, but they're not the only ones. Familiar the stereotype of the jock pummeling the "dweeb/nerd/geek"? This is similar from a man's perspective. The jock can be said to enforce social cohesion by dissuading (albeit immorally) the other guy from pursuing a different marker of status.

In the mannosphere, all you have to do is suggest the same systematic extermination of women that feminists preach of men, and you'll quickly see where the boundary on that lies.

Spacetraveller said...


Thank you for reporting the parallels of this from the male side of the fence.

I am especially grateful for this reporting by you, because I have deliberately (so far) 'ignored' the 'sins' of men. But that's not to say that I believe that men are angels and women are demons.

I use this opportunity to make a declaration of sorts:

PVW 'commissioned' me to write a post on feminism a loooooong time ago. I have procrastinated so much I am absolutely sure she has given up hope of ever seeing that post up, lol.

The real reason I have delayed that post, is that I am still uncovering the day-to-day ills of feminism. Little issues that go unnoticed unless you are specifically looking for them, but are actually big enough to destroy your life, quietly, silently, slowly.

This self-ploicing issue is one of them.
Women have been systematically trained to 'police' men, I now see clearly. And what's more, we have also been trained to ignore our own faiings (or is it that we are so busy focused on the sins of men, we now lack the ability to see our own sins?)

A perfect example of this is that woman who was involved in that 'dongle' case.

I bet you that had it been 2 women making the same joke, she wouldn't have done what she did.
The problem is, she saw herself as a self-appointed 'crusader' whose noble task was to 'police' those men. And police them she did. And she patted herself on the back because she had 'triumphed for the sisterhood' with her actions.
This is the problem. She would never agree with you or I that she simply eavesdropped on a private conversation and overreacted.

Now, had she been more focused on her own life, she would never have felt the need to police someone else in such a public way.

And so the unintended consequences of this sort of behaviour is that women like me who are fed up with this sort of thing deliberately 'look the other way' when it comes to 'policing' men and sometimes will take it too far.

So it is nice to be reminded that men have sins too, but they are NOT necessarily the same sins that we have been led to believe for 40 years :-)

I really wish to take the log out of my (female) proverbial eye first, before I can clearly see the speck in my brother's eye.

The examples you give above are great ones: although feminism is supposed to be about 'choice', all the choices chosen must be in compliance with feminist principles!

So one could say that the idea is 'self-police, but with criminal intent!' Which defeats the whole point of self-policing.

At least other organisations or movements are more consistent and honest: The Catholic Church for example has stuck to its 'My way or the highway' mantra for centuries now, and won't ever back down :-)
There is no pretense of fake 'choice'.