Sunday, January 26, 2014

Woman logic

The gentlemen who visit this blog have often declared that we women are not logical.
I happen to agree :-)

But I often find logic in funny places. Even (gasp) in women!

I know - my hamster thought it was 'logic'.
But at best, it was woman logic, which is not really logic as we know it...but some other beast dressed up as logic if you only saw it with the eye of faith.
Yes, I know.

Speaking of hamsters,
I was in the store the other day, trying to buy Deti's hamsterlator gadget. Delighted to spot that it contained the word 'Space', I thought I was entitled to some sort of discount...but the retailers would not hear of it. In response to my protestations, I was thrown out of the store by the burly security guards. Bruised and brazed, I tried to appeal  to the store manager...

My imagination is getting as bad as LFOD's in the last post...
But not in the same way, thankfully...

Dirty boys aside, I would like to examine 'woman logic'.

I have this disease, and I would like treatment, if not a cure :-)

It's time to poke fun at myself and my sisters.
We are big girls, we can take it.

If you gentlemen can find examples of how illogical women are to you, in your daily encounters with them, please log them here. I would be delighted to hear them. Indeed, I would be pleased if you can find examples of 'woman logic' on this very blog!
Honest, I would be happy to laugh at my 'woman logic' provided you yourself are more logical than me :-)

And, it would give us ladies a chance to see where we are going 'wrong'.

I get teased almost daily for my lack of logic in real life. Always by the same people :-) Sometimes, it is well deserved.  But there are times when I am genuinely surprised that I am deemed illogical.

But perhaps, it is a question of ignorance? Perhaps the examples you men provide will help me to see the light a little better?

I am going to take a slight detour...

I saw (for the first time ever!) the film 'The Nun's story' starring Audrey Hepburn.
I was awed by this film. Has anyone seen it?

The funniest part to me was this conversation between Sister Luke (Gabrielle van der Mal) and a native man in the Belgian Congo when she arrives as a young nun and nurse in the Belgian Congo in 1930 with a group of older nuns.

Man: So where are your husbands, you White Women?
Sr. Luke: What do you mean?
Man: You must have husbands, don't you?
Sr. Luke: Did you ask (Mother Superior) this question?
Man: Yes.
Sr. Luke: And what did she say?
Man: She said you are all married to the same man. But I don't believe her. It is wrong for a man to have many wives. You White people keep telling us that. I can understand the others not having a husband, but you, you are young and beautiful. You must have a husband!
Sr. Luke (smiling): Actually, I do have a husband. But he is in heaven.
Man: Oh, I am so sorry, Sister Luke. I am so sorry for your loss.


That alpha dude, Jesus. He has a lot to answer for :-)

The native man was being perfectly logical, no?
But Christianity is not particularly a logical religion in the cold light of day...

But still, we love it, don't we...

The nun's story is a very sad film. When in the very last scene, she is disrobing, taking off her 'wedding' ring, getting back into her old clothes, it must have felt like a divorce.
A catholic woman (a nun, no less! a bride of Christ!) divorcing that alpha dude, Jesus!
No cure for hypergamy.

The particular woman logic I want to examine briefly is this woman's logic.

On the surface of it, she is seriously dumb.

But I beg to differ.

This kind of 'brake' on someone's actions is exactly what we need in our modern world. Especially for women.
If we stop to think, just for one minute, that certain actions are permanent, much like death, we would be better off.

Too many of us do things because they feel good at the time. We don't stop to think about the long-term consequences. It doesn't matter how far in the process we have gone. Something, must be in place to take us back.

That something could be shame.
It could be fear of getting caught.
It could be our own innate self-discipline.
It could be the effort it takes to go through with it.
It could be the financial cost it takes to go through with it.
It could be 'fear of the unknown'.

Too many modern women are egged on with bravado to go through with something that could be disastrous. Like divorce. Like taking a man away from his children.

This woman used her 'woman logic', dumb as it may seem to many of us, to say to herself: Oh my God, this is forever. I must stop. And who are these people who encouraged me to go through with this when they knew it would kill my marriage forever? They must be stopped...

I accused 'Anonymous' in the last post of being rather rigid, when it comes to women and hugs.
Perhaps I (kettle) am guilty of calling pot black.

I am either deeply respectful of great women (Augustina who inspired the caritas post), or I am deeply turned off by others (JLB3's example in the same post).
No neutral for me :-)

This woman ticks the 'respect to you' box. Despite seeming incredibly stupid. I'll take stupid if she keeps her vows.

Deti's hamsterlator would find a different interpretation for this woman's thought processes. But I shall stick to my version for now. Unless someone logically knocks me off my high horse.

Basically, what I am saying is, not all 'woman's logic' is like that :-)
Anyone even hesitantly agree?

Or is my own 'woman logic' getting in the way?

Let's pick at 'women's logic' and see where it takes us.
Perhaps a lot of you men have a problem with how women think. Perhaps we women don't 'get' you, which is why we seem to do strange and illogical stuff.
Here's a chance to clear the air...

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Yo Bro!

You gentlemen are strange creatures.

Hahahahahahaha, in the nicest possible sense, of course.

Today, I have a pink hat firmly on. No man-goggles. No seeing it from your point of view. I am all-woman, oestrogen, warts and all :-)

I was at a gym yesterday. No, not a New Year's resolution as such, just normal routine :-)

I was highly amused by a sighting of two men greeting each other.

They were two muscular guys (I think the term is 'beefcakes'?)
And no, I most definitely wasn't ogling.

I wasn't!

They were in my field of vision, OK?

The only reason I spotted the rippling pecs and bulging biceps is that they had somehow crossed over into my direct field of vision. I had been looking straight ahead, minding my own business, in a 'tunnel' of my own making and all...



Anyhow, despite being of different races, they greeted each other with 'Yo bro'.
I didn't think they were genetic brothers, no :-)

Then they did this inverted handshake thing, and then whilst maintaining this handshake, they 'bumped' right shoulder to right shoulder. I could hear this bump, frankly it seemed painful, but these guys didn't seem to feel any pain. Manwhile I was wincing.

And they did all this in like, 3 seconds, all without eye contact.

They then parted company as each went in search of some weights to pump.

This is not the first time I have seen men greet each other in a way that makes me want to laugh out loud. It is so cute to watch (at least by a woman).

Are you men amused at the way women greet each other?

Come on, fess up! We won't be offended :-)

Perhaps a description of how I greet my own best friend may help.

I hadn't seen her for about two months.

I met up with her recently. As I spotted her among a crowd as she made her way towards me at our appointed venue, I immediately noticed she was wearing new boots.

Maintaining eye contact as she approached me, we hugged so tightly I couldn't be sure how legal it was :-) We maintained this hug for well over a minute.

Then I stepped away to admire her new boots for the best part of two minutes, then she looked me over and complimented me on some random feature of my physical being (I forget what). Then we hugged again, and stroked each other's shoulders/arms/backs in light touches whilst taking past each other at the rate of a thousand words a minute...


If anyone thinks I am exaggerating....

I am not.

I describe it exactly as I recall it.

But it does sound like a caricature of women's greeting, doesn't it?

The thing is, it feels so good.

Do you guys get this sense of 'it feels good' when you do your 'fist bumps' and 'chest bumps' (like the basketball players do) and your inverted handshake greetings?

To you, is it necessary for it to 'feel good'?
I can tell you that from this side of the fence, we definitely do it for the 'feel good factor'!


I love forms of greetings. They are my guilty pleasure.

In some parts of the world, a simple 'hi' just won't do. People spend a good ten minutes just saying 'hi'. I kid you not.

I once watched a documentary where two women were timed just exchanging simple pleasantries. It took just over eight minutes. Eight minutes!

It went something like this:

How are you?

Good, how are you?

Great. How are the kids?

They are fine. How is your husband?

He is well, how is your Mum? Has she recovered from her operation yet?

Oh yes, she is walking again now. And the party? How's that coming on?

Oh, yes, she is looking forward to it. We haven't got the cake yet. She says she's too grown up now to have a cake with thirteen candles on it...

And so on.

After everyone had been accounted for in the greeting, then they started talking about what they had actually met up for.

Hahahahahaha, so amusing...

I understand the need to keep your distance even when you are greeting your nearest and dearest, gentlemen. It is something I admire, because I cannot do it myself.

But do you feel the need to be like this in all your close encounters with your fellow fellas? Is this some code of manhood or something?

My friend and I regularly invade each other's privacy. We have no real boundaries.

I 'get' that a lot of men would recoil in horror at that. I understand.

What happens when a rather tactile woman hugs you like she would a fellow female?
Would you tolerate it ('well, she's just a female, she's not dangerous afterall, besides it's rather nice' :-)
Or do you hate it when this happens ('get off me, woman!')

Please do share!

What do you think of the Obamas' 'fistbump'?
Is this a normal 'form of greeting' between a couple?
Or is it a case of 'whatever floats their boat'?

Why do basketball players jump up and bump chests?
Is this a 'beating my chest, but even better if my buddy does it for me' thing?
We women could never do this. It would be a physically painful experience :-)
Even for the less endowed among us :-)

But we sometimes do the 'bump hips' thing.
I have never seen men bump hips - why is this?
Could a man explain this to me?

Anyone use the 'rub noses' form of greeting?
Is it cute or infection-prone? :-)

What about the kiss on the mouth between parents and children?

Why is a 'firm handshake' a good thing?

Tell all about your preferred (or not!) forms of greeting!

Not sure why this interests me, but it does :-)

Sunday, January 5, 2014

This Caritas business, what it mean?

Happy New Year, everyone!

At Mass today, I was reminded that today is the feast of the Epiphany.
The priest said 'epiphany' means  a 'reveal' or a 'disclosure' and then launched into a long-winded explanation as to the relevance of this to the time around Jesus' birth when he was visited by the Three Wise men.

He lost me shortly after the gold, frankincense and myrrh bit...

Anyhow, I realise that I got me Three Wise men from the East on this very blog!

Yes I do!

Let's see...
I got me John Lord B3 from the East (of the world).
I got me Metak from the East (of Europe).

Um...who else?

If you are a man, and you live in the east of the world, or the east of your continent, or the east of your city, or the east of your street, or your bedroom in your house faces east, let me know and you will get the third 'Wise man' slot - no questions asked.


One of our resident magi sent me this in the last post: This is an excerpt from another wise man commenting on a wise woman's actions.

"..So much in Augustina’s moving post.

Not many people can see the distinction between the types different types of love; conflating, love, lust and affection, yet the problem of love is at the core of our modern malaise.

Clearly, Augustina’s husband did not give her the “tingles” and yet she’s stuck with him through thick and thin, and despite his obvious faults. Indeed, his lack of alpha qualities put a strain on their marriage. Rollo? It wasn’t self interest there, it was concern for her husband.

A point of theological reflection. Does a husband’s failure to cultivate alpha qualities (executive function) put the marriage in danger of divorce? For a different post perhaps?

Secondly, the type of love that Augustina expressed for her husband is not the stuff that you can get from Game. That love, which goes by the theological name of Caritas, is something a person gives, independently of the quality of the other. It’s a supernatural gift from God. In looking for a wife, I’d advise my boys to look for a girl who posses this quality pretty much above all else. Sluts, hot sex and “wuv” come and go, but Caritas stays. Caritas loves you when you are unlovable and gameless.

Rollo Says that a woman can never love a man like he would want her to, but Augustina’s example(and lots of other women I know) proves him wrong. The love/caritas of a good woman is one of God’s gits to man. My wife does not give me everything I want, but it’s not because she doesn’t want to, it’s because she knows that its the wrong thing for me. It’s taken me many years to realise this and that’s why she’s a keeper. She’s looking after me.

That’s the paradox of a happy Christian marriage. The Christian wife, in order to be happy, has to know that her husband has real options but won’t exercise that ability because because her loves her. On the other hand, a good Christian wife can be miserable in a marriage yet still stick to her husband because she possesses Caritas.

God’s peace, Augustina.."

Further down that thread, someone else did what I love to do, which is to do a little philological research on the word 'Caritas'. This definitely brought out my geeky side :-)

I tried this in previous threads when I dissected the roots of the words 'mercy' and 'pity', and 'privacy' and 'intimacy'.
Bellita once alerted me to the relationship between 'curriculum' and the italian verb 'correre' (to run), as in 'curriculum vitae' being a 'run-through' of one's life.

My nerdy side is preparing to go to town on this one :-)

As the commenter downthread explained, 'Caritas' is etymologically related to the word 'charity', and also to the word 'care'.

But what does 'Caritas' mean in English, as related to the SMP?

True love?
Tough love?


There is a word I am familiar with, in another language, which I suspect means something very similar to 'Caritas'. As far as I can tell, it encompasses compassion, affection, tenderness, empathy and love.

From a purely religious viewpoint, the Catholic one to be precise, 'where there is Caritas (i.e. charity) and love, there is God' as the TaizĂ© hymn goes:

Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est:

The commenter was talking specifically about the kind of 'Caritas' that a woman can give to her husband, or that a woman can give to a man who is 'unlovable and gameless'.
Men too can be 'Caritas' givers, of course.

Or is male love a different thing from 'Caritas'?
Why do I get this sneaky feeling that 'Caritas' is more a feminine type of love?
Is there a good basis for this 'feeling' of mine?

What does this Caritas look like?

Is this 'self-giving', even 'selfless' love? As opposed to 'selfish' love?
Can it even be described as 'love'?

Can it be induced by Game? Or is it completely independent of both Boy Game and Girl Game?
If you are a man, and there was a choice between a woman being attracted to you, would you rather that, than her giving you 'Caritas' as 'Augustina's love for her husband seems to be?

What does 'Caritas' really mean?

Other than the examples given above in 'Wise man's' comment, could anyone give me good descriptions of 'Caritas'?

The more practical, the better! The more anecdotal, the better!