Showing posts with label Tango. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tango. Show all posts

Friday, February 3, 2012

She made me a better man

Poor old Seal. He has turned all beta 'mushy' lately, gushing to anyone who would listen about his love for his wife and children.

It came as a total shock to me when I heard that he and Heidi Klum had split up.
This was one couple I always believed would make it to the very end.

As an eternal optimist, I hope this is not the end of 'Team Seal' though.

They renewed their wedding vows every year, they seemed in love with each other. He in particular seemed to be very expressive in the way he felt about his family.

And yet, they split.

But...was the writing on the wall all along?



I come from a family and a social group of  'quiet men'.
I too am 'quiet' in real life.
I do however talk a little bit more than the men in my entourage. Like at least one word per day more :-)

Given my background, I find that I am 'allergic' to men who 'talk too much'. I have female friends for that!
I have become used to the 'strong silent' type, so for me personally, 'quiet' is my particular hallmark of masculinity.

So, hearing Seal gush forth after the breakup of his marriage, I was not surprised to note the familiar hives starting up all over my skin.
In particular, I note the 'quietness' of Heidi Klum.
This is a role reversal I don't see very often.

So naturally, it has elicited my curiosity.


Seal is an extremely well-spoken and eloquent man (we Brits are suckers for each others' accents).
Moreover, he appears to be the very epitome of masculinity, whatever criteria you use. He has been described as 'alpha' by some men in the Manosphere, using various yardsticks.
Even the scars on his face add to this phenomenon.
Heidi Klum had said before how tall he was. Apparently he is 6ft 4 or thereabouts.

He had a hard childhood but overcame all to become one of the most famous men in the world.

So top marks for fulfilling his potential.

And yet, watching him, I was reminded of an incident with Wanda Sykes (the american comedian and actress who is so funny, one look at her and laughter is immediately induced. As the sidekick to Jane Fonda in 'Monster-in-law', for example, she is absolutely hilarious).

Sykes was being interviewed in London many years ago, and the topic of Prince Charles leaving Princess Diana for Camilla Parker-Bowles came up.

She looked straight at the camera in a way only comedians know how and said, "Chucky, yer doin' it wrong, honey, Yer doin' it wrong! Yer supposed to go from the older woman to the younger one, not the other way round, stupid!"

I still laugh out loud when I remember that.

My first instinct was to scream at Seal, "Yer doin' it wrong, brother, yer doin' it wrong!"

But no. Let him show his soft side. Let him be 'beta' as long as he chooses.
With any luck, Heidi Klum will return the favour one day and 'chase him back'.

It should be a dance of Tango.


One thing he said however, which made me think is this:

"Heidi made me a better man."

Can a woman make a man 'a better man'?
Like a man can make a woman a 'better woman'?

Does a man need a woman to make him a better man? Or is it just nice to have?

Can a man who has encountered such a woman ever let go? Is this why Seal is so helplessly 'mushy'?

It is highly publicised that when Seal met Heidi, she was pregnant with someone's baby.

Some men (and women) might find it incompehensible that he didn't run fast in the other direction.
But I don't, in this case.
Afterall, Seal was not deceived. He chose to take this woman on fully knowing she was pregnant.
This woman who 'made him a better man'.
(In any case, it would have been hard in this case to convince Seal the baby was his, had any attempt been made to deceive him. He would have had to be Michael Jackson to believe this :-)



There must have been something special about Heidi Klum.
Any suggestions?
Is it just because she is a beautiful woman? Somehow I think not. Because the world is full of beautiful women.
But I am willing to be corrected on this if indeed this is the case.


Did Seal get it horribly wrong?
Did he fail to spot a 'reluctant bride' all along?

Despite all his external 'alpha' traits, is he deep down just another 'beta' dude who just happens to be rich and famous?


Saturday, January 28, 2012

Tango the dance of love

A colleague of mine is very much into the Argentine Tango. She loves the sensuality and the freedom of this dance.


But alas she has a problem. It seems that some of the men in her dance class are definitely all too happy to be there, Mae West fashion.
But alas, this does not spoil her fun. She continues on her journey to master the Argentine Tango.
Good girl.

I was born with two left feet. Figuratively speaking, that is. Or should that be two right ones? 

I got the rhythm an' all, but it just doesn't translate well on the dance floor, particularly in a 'classical' dance like Tango. I couldn't dance Tango to save my life. It is however on my list of 'to do' things. I thought about joining my colleague at her Argentine Tango class. I just might, one day soon.

Someone tried to teach me the Tango once. I was no good. My teacher did give up after about ten minutes. I am actually surprised the lesson lasted that long.

It was not so much the dancing itself I remember, but the lessons it taught me about the dynamics of a relationship. I am not sure if this was the intention of my teacher. Whether it was or not does not matter. What matters to me is that a lesson was handed to me free on a plate. And I took it on board.

"One step forward, one step back".
"Two steps to the side, two steps back".
"One step forward, two steps to the side and... sweep".

(For those who are unfamiliar with Tango, the sweep is where the man or the woman uses their foot to literally drag the other's foot in a direction of their choosing. It is a highly sensual move).

Each time one partner in Tango moves forward, the other has to go backwards. If one goes backwards, the other has to move forward, for the dance to go smoothly and be enjoyable.

This lesson consolidates what I know about successful relationships.


Another important rule of Tango is that the man always leads. Even if the woman is to go forward, it is because the man has indicated to her that he is about to go backwards.

In Tango, you are never alone.
There is always some contact between the dancers. Usually at shoulder level, but this can vary during the course of a dance.

It is a true dance of life.