Saturday, January 28, 2012

Tango the dance of love

A colleague of mine is very much into the Argentine Tango. She loves the sensuality and the freedom of this dance.

But alas she has a problem. It seems that some of the men in her dance class are definitely all too happy to be there, Mae West fashion.
But alas, this does not spoil her fun. She continues on her journey to master the Argentine Tango.
Good girl.

I was born with two left feet. Figuratively speaking, that is. Or should that be two right ones? 

I got the rhythm an' all, but it just doesn't translate well on the dance floor, particularly in a 'classical' dance like Tango. I couldn't dance Tango to save my life. It is however on my list of 'to do' things. I thought about joining my colleague at her Argentine Tango class. I just might, one day soon.

Someone tried to teach me the Tango once. I was no good. My teacher did give up after about ten minutes. I am actually surprised the lesson lasted that long.

It was not so much the dancing itself I remember, but the lessons it taught me about the dynamics of a relationship. I am not sure if this was the intention of my teacher. Whether it was or not does not matter. What matters to me is that a lesson was handed to me free on a plate. And I took it on board.

"One step forward, one step back".
"Two steps to the side, two steps back".
"One step forward, two steps to the side and... sweep".

(For those who are unfamiliar with Tango, the sweep is where the man or the woman uses their foot to literally drag the other's foot in a direction of their choosing. It is a highly sensual move).

Each time one partner in Tango moves forward, the other has to go backwards. If one goes backwards, the other has to move forward, for the dance to go smoothly and be enjoyable.

This lesson consolidates what I know about successful relationships.

Another important rule of Tango is that the man always leads. Even if the woman is to go forward, it is because the man has indicated to her that he is about to go backwards.

In Tango, you are never alone.
There is always some contact between the dancers. Usually at shoulder level, but this can vary during the course of a dance.

It is a true dance of life.


Bellita said...

Now I'm going to miss the point entirely and suggest that you take up salsa instead. ;) It's easy and fun--and I have it on good authority from people in two different cultures that the atmosphere of the average salsa club is so open and flirty that men will always ask women to dance and women will always say yes. (Jane Austen would approve!)

It's not as sensual and intimate as tango, but as I've said, it's fun and flirty . . . perhaps a prelude to the tango!

A ballerina friend of mine taught me and some other girls from our dormitory how to salsa. At first it was just we four girls and her music player . . . Then some male friends who lived on the same floor came back, and we just grabbed them and made them dance with us. (Not that they were complaining!) It was a really great way to pass an hour. The memory makes me wish dancing were still a big social convention.

dannyfrom504 said...

one thing about relationships that's always gotten to me is the dance metaphor.

when i mention how in successful relationships you have a man leading, and i have a woman scoff at me. i always ask her if she likes dancing. most women will say "yes". then i ask, who leads in dancing.


"it takes 2 partner's to dance, a man leads and a woman follows." just as it is in life. i can't manage the relationship without her input thusly i can't "dance" without her.

there was a HUUUGE discussion some time ago about a female "submitting" to a man. it got pretty dicey to say the least and i had to broach the subject with kid gloves. while i agree that the best functional relationship involve a woman submitting to a man, but when a woman does submit a man shoulders a HUGE responsibility and has been given a very precious gift.

should he squander it or not be appreciative of what he's been given.....he doesn't deserve her as partner.

Spacetraveller said...

@ Bellita,

I have zero experience of salsa :-)

But from how you describe it, it sounds great fun. Yes, as a prelude to the Tango sounds about right :-)

I know what you mean - dance is something which is missing in many a social milieu. I used to watch a lot of 'reality' dance shows like 'Dancing with the stars', 'Dancing on ice', 'Come dancing', 'So you want to dance' and even the Norwegian equivalent 'Skal vi danse?' (Shall we dance?)...

Beautiful to watch...

And of course, the perfect analogy of man-woman interaction...

@ Danny,

Today's world has become far too PC for our own good...
It's a right shame...

Your last statement, coming from a man is pure gold.

As always, thank you for your manly wisdom :-)

Bellita said...


Did you watch Strictly Come Dancing last year? That was the only time I did . . . because Harry Judd was on it. Hahahaha! ;)

Spacetraveller said...


I had no idea who Harry Judd was :-) but I see he belongs to McFly. Ah, now I get it :-)

I see he is dating Izzy Johnston the classical violinist...very talented girl.

I sadly missed out on 'Strictly' last year because I had moved to my present country the year before :-( so I could only watch the french equivalent...