Friday, February 15, 2013

Adopt a bloke for Lent

I don't like the word 'propaganda'. I really don't.
But I think that's because it is so entwined with 'Joseph Goebbels' and 'Das Dritte Reich'.

I prefer the word 'campaign'.
And it's nothing to do with the auditory resemblance to 'champagne'.

Even more enjoyable for me is the notion of a 'counter-campaign'.
Perhaps this is a guilty pleasure...

In any case, I like the idea of creative solutions to impossible problems.

Consider this:

One of the biggest complaints of modern single women is that we have 'no-one to love'. It may not even be verbalised in most cases, but this is a truism. I know this. So does everyone else.

Cuddle bunnies (aherm, don't judge us!), cats, little pint-sized dogs, other people's children...
These are all great solutions.

I have another one.
It's not at all revolutionary, but some people may not like it.
Shrug. It's just an idea.

Although not really intended, this has become somewhat of a dating-themed blog.
But sometimes, it is good to 'branch out' a bit.

'Adopt a man' could just as well be 'Adopt a baby chimp in deepest Africa' or 'Adopt a koala bear in Australia' - which are actually real-life campaigns out there.
It's a general thing.

We are called to 'give up' something for Lent. For most of us (at least in the West), the simplest and most appropriate thing to 'give up' is food. So we omit chocolate or cakes for six weeks and then 'make up for lost time' in Holy Week :-).

For others, it is painful whole-day fasting.

Many people use this time simply to become better persons.
For those with 'anger issues', it is a time to play nice and bite the old tongue.
And then snap at the nearest person on Easter Sunday :-)

For yet others, it is simply a time to reflect.
Which makes this time of year so serenely sacred.

The point is, sometimes it is not so much 'to give up' as to 'add' to one's own life. Or to some other person's life.

As we filed out of the warm church into the cold February air, ash on head, I was introduced to an old lady struggling to balance herself on two sticks. She was absolutely ridden with arthritis.

As I shook her hand (very gently for fear of breaking something), she gave me a compliment which was appearance-related. Which validated me no end :-)

But my little morcel of pleasure was soon blasted into the ether.
For I was told a little while later that the old lady had just recently lost her daughter, to a rather aggressive illness.

It was overwhelmingy sad to hear.

This woman (she looked like she might be a widow) was going to endure the rest of this winter (and her life, of course) without her daughter.

I wondered - did she have any other children? Did she have grandchildren? A good friend? Any other family?
But...none of the above will ever ease the pain of losing a daughter, I am sure.

'Adopting' her as in 'Adopt a Granny' assuming she was now all alone in the world, though, perhaps would go a long way to alleviating her pain and distress at this particularly cruel time.

For many women, the need to reach out to someone else, or some other people is overwhelmingly forceful. And of course there is a use for it.

TPM recently blogged about this trait in women. I find it to be so true.
Which is why I find it so frustrating when I see it underemployed, this nurturing business.

Perhaps we think it should be 'buried' until we are mothers of large families before we 'deploy' the nurturing time-bomb?
But surely it is like a muscle - use it or you lose it, no?

Practice makes perfect.

One of the sins of feminism is that women are taught to be rather coy about showing their nurturing side. It is definitely not 'cool' nowadays in the SMP.

And yet, it is surprisingly cool to those who might benefit.

Wouldn't it be great taking Bellita's example of 'seeing the good in every man' to a new level - just for Lent?

Once a good trait has been identified in the lucky fella (he doesn't even have to be 'Mr. Possible' or 'Mr. Right' - just a random bloke who looks like he may need some nurturing :-)

Then feed and generally treat him for the 6 weeks leading up to Easter. Do something for him that he can't do for himself.
If he is a gourmet chef like Danny, pass him over :-)

It may be necessary to however warn him that this is not a 'favour-carrying' maneouvre. However, if he volunteers to fix that crooked garage-door that your brother promised to fix three years ago, that would be cool and will be rewarded handsomely with a feminine favour of your choice :-)

It may also be necessary to the terms of this interaction and the details of exactly which feminine undertaking is on offer...maybe even in writing, lol.

If this is an enjoyable exercise, it could very well be carried on beyond Lent...
Whyever not?
The recipient number does not have to be singular, by the way. It all depends on time and availability. It doesn't even have to be a man, (but somehow it does make feminine sense to choose a man for this, it seems to me :-).

All in the name of Lenten sacrifice :-)
Oh the perils of religion...

And one happy side effect of this sort of thing is that it is a counter-reaction to feminism, so... 'happy days' :-)

And another is that, some cynical guy somewhere is suddenly going to think he died and went to Heaven...

Priceless :-)

Make my day brighter - adopt me for Lent!


Marellus said...


Spacetraveller said...

Hey Marellus,

I don't know how you men do the one word thing...never was able to master that art, lol.

For sure, Marellus, it would be truly noble if more women did this than is currently the case, no?

Lent is a great time to do something like my humble opinion.
Make someone else's life (and yours in the process) better for 6 teeny weeks...

Marellus said...


Marellus said...


The clap, clap, clap of the clapsticks beat
By the old, red rocks with their scars
To the stamp, stamp, stamp of the old men's feet
And the wink, wink, wink of the stars.
With the drone, drone, drone of the didgeridoo
And the sound of its ancient tune
In the dance of the snake and the kangaroo
By the light of the walkabout moon.
The chants will rise and drift and fall
While the night with a magic fills
Where the old men dance to the Dreamtime's call
In the heart of the secret hills.

Max Fatchen

Spacetraveller said...

Hahahahaha Marellus,

I have been here before...

Thanks for taking me back into the twilight zone, lol.


Marellus said...

The balladry
The bewitchery

The cadence
The ascendance

The countenance
The reflectance

The reason
The abandon

The hindrance
The forbiddance

The fragrance
The dominance

The remembrance
The dalliance

No referee
Just corroboree

dannyfrom504 said...


and you're adopting......?

Spacetraveller said...




I KNEW someone would take me to task on this. It just had to be you, didn't it? lol.

As you know, I love to cook a lot (like you). I have not 'adopted' someone or some people quite in the way I propose above per se, but looking back, I have kind of done a variant of this almost all my life.
I am not a gift-giver, never have been, never will be. If I hear it's someone's birthday, I offer to cook them a meal. Because I love cooking and to me, it's not a big deal. And I have never received any complaints so far :P

I recently had to contact someone in my old place of work (worked there over 10 years ago) for some official documents. She couldn't remember me at first (was on the phone) and then she suddenly said, "Ah! Now I remember! You're the one who used to cook all those exotic dishes..." Nevermind all my actual professional work. She only remembered me as the cook.

Amazing. It struck me how something so little from my part could stick in someone else's mind for so long!

I used cooking as an example because *I* enoy this. But others have other talents they can use. I was never the 'funny' one at my own dinner parties. The goofy guys would bring the 'funny', the pretty girls would bring the 'eye candy'. Everyone came with something. And everyone had a nice time.

Nowadays, I am often manipulated into cooking for hungry colleagues, as I mentioned in 'Boss Game'.

But I don't mind, even if I know jolly well I am being 'Gamed'. Because it helps me (in the long run).

I think younger women than me could benefit from this sort of thing (if they don't already do this). It should be considered like a 'wife-in-training' exercise. I was forced to become 'adventurous' with my cooking, and learned to try out recipes from different parts of the world when I was doing this exercise. And now I can cook for absolutely anyone. Seriously :-)
It seems in my case this could be inherited - both my Mum and my big sister are excellent cooks. Female cousins, aunties, every woman in my family can and loves to cook. So for me, it is 'normal' to be like this. Which is great, I guess...

The problem nowadays is that perhaps many (especially) younger women who have a natural tendency to do something like this are discouraged from doing so, or the people to whom they do this get the wrong idea about their intentions. This is a shame...

It is fun, it is good for one, and it could be seen as the female equivalent of 'chivalry'.

The nerdy guy who lives in your building carries your heavy suitcase to the car park for you, you offer him a nice meal that you cooked, the next week. I think that's a nice thing to do. Nerdy guy would feel good about what he did for you, and you would feel good about doing something for someone else - just for the sake of it...

And Lent is the perfect time to do something like this, I think!

Makes a change from 'giving up chocolate', don't you think?

Hey, speaking of which, (let's turn this round to you, lol), what are you doing for Lent, Oh Inquisitive One?

Marellus said...


dannyfrom504 said...


dang. did your hamster take that question and run with it or WHAT.

as to your inquiry. eating seafood on fridays and going to chapel on sundays.

Spacetraveller said...




What hamster?
*shifty eyes*

Your Lenten plan sounds fabulous...