Tuesday, February 17, 2015

The tragedy of St.Valentine's Day

It is not really clear to me why this is, but it seems to be very much the case:
Introverted people are often perceived not to have feelings. To be devoid of emotion.

So when once in a blue moon, an introverted person shows some emotion, everyone gets a surprise. :-)
Yes, the problem is, when Mr.or Ms. Introversion decides to let rip, it is usually akin to a volcanic eruption. :-)

I remember when I was a child, a teacher at school asked me, 'why are you Catholic?'
Given that it was a Catholic school, I felt justified in answering, 'cos everyone around me is'.
Looking back, that was quite a lame answer.

Why a religion?
Nowadays, in accordance with my new-found Red Pill faith, I would answer differently:

'Religion provides a good infrastructure for 'reframing'.'
'Cos this is one of the skills of life. One we all badly need in this modern world, I believe.

Over the course of blogging, I have come to notice that some commenters take on certain personas which is unique to them, and forge a relationship with the blogger based on this unique persona. It is quite an entertaining phenomenon. :-)
I notice this sort of interaction between blogger and commenter on almost every blog I visit, so I know this is of course not unique to this blog.

Speaking of commenters, I would just like to say that newcomer Mortan has brought me many great insights via his visit to the MGTOW post. In particular, his words about the phenomenon that is 'contentment' has prompted me to look into this further. I was going to post about this...

But as is usual with me, I got distraced by a comment from someone else.
This someone else is 'Live Free or Die'.

LFOD has, I think, assumed the role of 'court jester' here. My reaction to his comments tend to range from something between 'yeah, whatever, mate' in response to his boundary-pushing hyperbole, to 'oh no, he didn't just say that!' in response to his more outlandishly outrageous posts (Answer being, of course, yes he did just say that). :-)

Exchanging friendly fire is good for the soul, or something to that effect. :-)
I welcome commenters like LFOD, because I realise that I learn a lot from them. Not to talk of incredibly entertaining.

This latest comment, however, from LFOD, unleashed an emotion in me that I did not really expect to feel.

"Happy MGTOW Day everyone!

No dinners bought today.
No jewelry bought today.
No flowers bought today.
No chocolate bought today.
No wine bought today.
No cards bought today.

No obligations to anyone or anything.

Live Free or Die!"

I was just about to (robot-style) respond (with my usual attitude) to him:
'Happy MGTOW Day to you too, LFOD. Enjoy.'
But something stopped me.
I thought, not this time.

This whole post is of course unsolicited.
But that's just it. No-one wants to ask for this sort of rant from a stranger. :-)

This is not personal to LFOD. In fact, from this point onwards, let's all have a frank discussion about this, only referring to LFOD where absolutely necessary.

Back to childhood...
Back to the playground:
Boy A has a scuffle with Boy B and ends up 'winning' Boy B's shirt. Boy A tries on Boy B's shirt and finds it doesn't fit. Boy A then sulks off to another child, let's say, a girl, and complains to her that Boy B's shirt doesn't fit.
She doesn't get it. To his constant reminders that he won the shirt 'fair and square', all she can say is, 'but it's not yours! Wouldn't it be better if you returned Boy B's shirt to Boy B and you just wear your own shirt?'
The girl does not get it because perhaps she is not meant to. She doesn't understand the complex rules by which Boy A and Boy B are playing.

But this girl does. Which is why she feels the raw emotion of deep sadness. In typical exaggerated hyperbole (to resort to tautology!) she would call it a tragedy.

Yes, Boy B is analogous to mainsteam media/current culture/feminism/whatever. Boy A and the girl need no introduction, I hope.

Why would anyone take on the views of someone else and whine to a third party that it does not sit well with them?
Who told LFOD that Valentine's Day is all about wining and dining a lady and bringing her flowers, chocolate and diamonds?

And more importantly, why did he buy into this harmful piece of information?
To conform?
To comply?
Because he had no other solution?

But there is always another solution.

Some people know when the are being taken for a ride. They shrug their shoulders and go along for the ride anyway. Others in the same boat have no idea what's happening...until...they finally wake up... when the vehicle they are in...crashes.

Someone won the booby prize (considering it was won from Mama Feminism, this is not a bad pun!) and now doesn't like his winnings.
Someone should give back the shirt that doesn't fit. It is not his. It will never fit.

St. Valentine's Day is a religious festival. Like Christmas, or Easter, or the feast of Ss. Peter and Paul.
It was never meant to be hijacked by our materialistic society for the gains of chocolate makers or florists.

If we buy that lie, that it is a day to give women cards or seven course meals, it is our fault for absorbing bad information.

St. Valentine was a Catholic priest who sought to take a stance against a cruel emperor who was so keen to win wars that he made it a law that no man should marry in order not to 'distract' them from fighting. Emperor Caludias wanted to make every man a MGTOW whether he liked it or not. :-)

St. Valentine knew there were men and women in his diocese who wanted to marry. So he married them, in secret. For this cime, he was imprisoned, tortured and eventually decapitated.
But before dying, he healed the (blind) daughter of one of his jailors, and his very last words were to her, in a note he signed off with the words, 'from your Valentine'.
Cue the association with romantic love. :-)

St. Valentine, much like St. Jerome must be turning over in his grave by now. He made the ultimate sacrifice to ensure that the young people of his era received one of the most enriching sacraments of life. St. Jerome warned against marriage, of course - but only for those who were not ready for it, I conclude. These two saints teach us a lot about real love, and not the 'fairies in a cloud' variety that is sold to the general public in bucket-loads on one day in mid-February.

Instead of absorbing what is routinely sold to us in the mainstream media, and then moan about it, why don't we see things for what they really are? Why don't we 're-frame'?

Why don't we stop this rot by re-framing in our own minds what is right?

What is wrong with going to a lecture on St. Valentine, on St. Valentine's Day?
What is wrong with going to Mass on St. Valentine's Day and praying that the love which St. Valentine had for his fellow man would be bestowed on us too?
What is wrong with asking a girl to 'be your Valentine' without giving her a truckload of shiny objects?
What is wrong with a woman giving a man something, no matter how small, on St. Valentine's Day?
What is wrong with a kind act towards a stranger because it is for the love of St. Valentine, on St. Valentine's Day?

Answer: nothing.

Gentlemen, feminism may have taken over in a big way, but it is still your duty to...
Civilise us!

Honestly, we implore you...
You show the way, you decide how an important feast day is to be celebrated, you lead the way.
I promise you, we women will follow.

If you fail to take the lead, we ladies are left scratching our heads and wondering where all the good men went...

Important note:
This post is not, I hope the violation of Nature that one might conclude it is. I am not telling you men what to do, really...and certainly not how to do it...I am just throwing a favourite catch-phrase of mine around...:-)
My hamster spins it thus: I am reacting emotionally to what LFOD may see as a triumphant 'throwing down of the gauntlet', but which I (being of the feminine persuasion) see oh so very differently.

I mean well though. I hope that much is clear.
Sometimes, (I think), it is better to show someone why he is not a victim, than to commiserate with his perceived victimhood. I hope this post achieves the former and not the latter.


Live Free or Die said...

Interesting post Spacetraveller!

Let me clarify a few things.

Why would anyone take on the views of someone else and whine to a third party that it does not sit well with them?
Who told LFOD that Valentine's Day is all about wining and dining a lady and bringing her flowers, chocolate and diamonds?

And more importantly, why did he buy into this harmful piece of information?
To conform?
To comply?
Because he had no other solution?

If anyone has read any of my posts, you'll know that 'conform' and 'comply' are dirty words to me. I literally do whatever I want and no can say boo about it.

Besides, all relationships are, are just one big wealth transfer from men to women.

My hamster spins it thus: I am reacting emotionally to what LFOD may see as a triumphant 'throwing down of the gauntlet', but which I (being of the feminine persuasion) see oh so very differently.

No throwing down the gauntlet here. The MGTOW life is paradise for me.

I don't get lonely.
I don't want to get married.
I don't want to cohabit.
I don't want to have kids.
I'm not religious.
I don't want anyone telling me what to do.
I have no debt of any kind.
I'm self employed ( I control my own time and my money)
I wake up at noon everyday (or whenever I want)
If it is a nice weekday out, I'll go outside and hike or play sports while the rest of society is stuck in an office.
I don't have to compromise with anyone on anything.

I'm this way because I want to be, not because of reacting to the sexual market place.

Live Free or Die!

Live Free or Die said...

I feel so honored that a whole post is dedicated to me!

Spacetraveller said...


"I feel so honored that a whole post is dedicated to me!"

Pleasure is all mine!
Besides, it was about time :-)
You ARE an entertaining commenter, even if (I am sure) you don't always intend to be.

Tell me, why do you think this post is interesting?

"If anyone has read any of my posts, you'll know that 'conform' and 'comply' are dirty words to me. I literally do whatever I want and no can say boo about it."

Yes, yes, agreed - with respect to all your previous posts, LFOD!

But can you not honestly see that this latest comment which is the subject of this post is somehow...different?

For the very first time, I detect a sadness which I hadn't detected before from you.
Now, perhaps you didn't mean to emanate this, or I picked up the wrong signal...
But let me explain...

Whenever someone proclaims that they are so HAPPY about something that the rest of us would instinctively think of as 'not ideal', especially when the proclaimer appears to be so elated, some of us 'intuitives' smell a rat.

Your comment somehow reminds me of those 50-something single women who scream at the top of their lungs that they are SO HAPPY!!!! (But with one important difference which I can go into later, if you wish...on another post).

Not to pick on you (I know, I know, it must feel like I am, but honestly, I am not!) but I use your comment to illustrate another point which I think is becoming more and more true of young men today, especially those who frequent the Manosphere. In my humble opinion, I think it is a deleterious trait to have, but then again, I am female, so I will never truly understand this phenomenon from the 'inside', so to speak.

This 'problem' is...'binary thinking'.

It probably closely resembles 'logic' (hence my assertion that I may never totally 'get' it). :-)

I have to say, we women don't usually have this 'problem' because we seem to have in-built mechanisms to circum-navigate hurdles in our way (even if we do it wrong! - but at least, we have the tools to attempt to deal with them...).
We are more likely to see 3, 4, maybe more solutions to any given problem, most of which...will NOT be the correct one, lol).
But you gentlemen will see only two. It's black or white, never grey (certainly not 50 shades of any colour, lol! sorry, inappropriate humour on my part, I apologise).
It's A or B, never C.
I suppose this is what is really meant by 'multi-tasking' - it's not that we can do many things at once - it's more that we can see better out of the corner of our eyes. :-)

Spacetraveller said...

To give a pertinent example, LFOD, you hear 'Man up and marry that slut!' and you (quite naturally!) dismiss both imperatives, no? You decide to not man up, and definitely not wife up that slut.
For you, it might well be a binary matter.
You avoid the sluts (good for you) and also (for example) scale down your natural drive for excellence in a masculine pursuit (you scale down your work and therefore your earnings, for example). This is a pity, because (as women also lose facets of their femininity), you also lose some of your masculinity. Some men will hear 'Man up and marry that slut!' and will immediately tell themselves, 'yes, I will man up, but no, I will NOT marry that slut!'
They have taken 'Option C'.

How does this relate to the topic at hand?
Your comment hints that you only see Feb 14 as a day when women are given everything they ask for, at the expense of men. You don't like it, (and who can blame you!) which is why you tell me you are happy NOT doing it.

My point is that you didn't have to accept the status quo in the first place. You are thinking in a binary way. In many countries in the world, Feb 14 is either a religious day (St. Valentine is just another saint whose feast day is being celebrated), or it is just another day.

I know you like being a MGTOW. But I am addressing an entirely different issue from your MGTOW status.

I think your response typifies one specific way feminism harms men. You are boxed into a corner where your only way out is by doing A, or NOT doing A. I think it might help if you see that there are other options. And then you won't feel the need to tell me how happy you are NOT to be doing A.
See what I am getting at?

Other than your 'binary thinking', I am genuinely happy for you that you have the life you have. I admitted to you once before that I am jealous, did I not? I meant it, but only if I can be truly assured that you feel as 'free' as you say you are. Your comment alarmed me, as I detected a hint of sadness somewhere, which I am not used to, from you.
If something does not sit well with you, (which clearly the overt consumerism of St. Valentine's Day doesn't), discard it totally. Give the shirt back! Then, and only then can you avoid the problem of 'it doesn't fit', which your comment screams at me.

Another long comment from me. But do I make sense to you?
Can you convince me that I read you wrong? I would love to be proved wrong on this one.

Live Free or Die said...

No sadness in my post Spacetraveller.

I don't mean to brag about my life. The only reason I mention it is because the perception of MGTOWs or the manosphere in general is that they all the men are sad, lonely, pathetic, and bitter losers who can't compete in the modern sexual market place.

While a lot of that may be true with the shaming of sluts, the moaning about "nice guys" and going on about alpha and beta, none of that applies to me.

So I'm not overcompensating, or trying to brag.

The reason my 'Happy MGTOW Day' comment unleashed a wave of emotion in you is because of this phrase you wrote in the "MGTOW: Good or Bad for women?" post:

A woman's greatest fear is abandonment. Or worse, never to have been approached in the first place

With one man voluntarily out of relationships, that means that one woman will end up lonely or have to be part of a harem.

If more men take up this philosophy, women in greater numbers will suffer.

Spacetraveller said...


"No sadness in my post Spacetraveller."

Immensely relieved to hear that. Perhaps I am starting to 'see' sadness where it doesn't exist. My good friend Bellita has a name for this - 'crucifix syndrome'. It appears to be unique to Catholic women, lol. Bellita herself self-identifies with this 'syndrome'. Perhaps I am starting to catch her disease.

There is no question about your enviable life. I am truly happy for you.

What triggered off my 'sad' alarm is the fact that you were compelled to comment about St. Valentine's Day (when there was no post up about this) and specifically about how you are so happy to be NOT doing the things you mention. You are the only one who brought this up, and suggests this was heavily on your mind.
My point is, the aspect of St. Valentine's Day that you don't like, why make it an issue?

I do have a similar problem if I may confess something to you. For years, I have refused to send Christmas cards to people I see everyday, just because it is the 'norm'. (It was OK of course to send cards to friends/family I would NOT see over the Christmas holiday - that's acceptable). I would then conclude in my head that I am 'not celebrating Christmas'. Which was nonsense, because I was celebrating Christmas - going to Midnight Mass, singing carols, etc. Just not the way Hallmark wants me to.
It helped to dismiss the idea that somehow it was obligatory to send cards/gifts.
When I managed to take this step, it didn't even cross my mind anymore to complain about how materialistic Christmas had become.

"The reason my 'Happy MGTOW Day' comment unleashed a wave of emotion in you is because of this phrase you wrote in the "MGTOW: Good or Bad for women?" post:"

Well you got me there...
Yes, I am generally in favour of people pairing up (now there's a surprise!) but NOT if one party is unwilling, LFOD. I think it would be cruel to both you and a woman if you are forced into a union when you are so happy with your life as it is. So, you are not wrong here, just not completely right.

"With one man voluntarily out of relationships, that means that one woman will end up lonely or have to be part of a harem.

If more men take up this philosophy, women in greater numbers will suffer."

LFOD, you may not see this, but comments like this is exactly how anti-MGTOW people get their ammunition to use against MGTOWs. This is where the 'you sound bitter!' comments come from.
Even someone who is sympathetic to the cause (let's say another MGTOW for example) on seeing this comment would want to know: Are you really in it (MGTOW) for the peace this lifestyle offers you, or is it more for the perceived suffering you imagine a woman out there is undergoing because of your absence in the SMP?
Even if your answer might be the latter (and I am particularly inclined to be sympathetic to men in this position), you can imagine that someone hellbent on schadenfreude at your expense will feel they have achieved a 'victory' over you (whether or not you care).
Another point you overlook is that many women take 'alternative routes' to family life when there are men missing from the SMP (albeit the 'alternative' is inferior to the ideal of a LTR or marriage). Where do you think single motherhood and 'baby mamas' come from? The woman who might have been your girlfriend or wife? She hooked up with a thug and now has three children that you are paying for through your taxes. I told you before: many (modern) women do not think in a binary way. For them, it would not be 'marriage or single life with no kids'. There is option C which is...well, you know.
Yes, corrupt governments encourage and enable this behaviour, and of course I don't condone it. I am only pointing out that 'suffering' is a relative term, depending on who you believe is 'missing out'.

Spacetraveller said...

Anyway, one last point: (and this is intended to be less 'heavy' than all my previous points, so please take it in the spirit in which it is intended).

I do believe I have found further evidence of your 'binary thinking'!
Yes I have!
Your very handle here suggests it!

Live Free or Die!

It sounds like these are the only two choices in life, to you. No 'in-betweens' for you. :-)

The following options are not ones you might consider?!

Live well.
Live easy.
Live young.
Live a little.
Live like it's your last day.
Live on the edge.
And so on...

I can see you are an 'all or nothing' guy. In a purely logical world, this is undoubtedly a good thing, but I wonder how damaging it can be on an emotional level? I suspect...a lot.

Just out of interest, do YOU think you are a bit 'binary' in your thinking? Or do you see yourself as a 'many choices' man?
Of course I don't know you. I only 'read between the lines'.

Ceer said...

@ ST

You're correct to point out that democracy is currently set up to make sure women are able to siphon resources from men in the event they don't find husbands. I find LFOD's suffering comment to be more descriptive rather than prescriptive.

One reason why I'm not an MGTOW, is that I don't have faith in the ultimate rationality of women. MGTOW as a form of punishment makes sense if and only if:
1) The men going their own way are desirable sexually.
2) The men going their own way remove scarce resources that can't be seized by force.

I'm pretty sure many women WANT to see men they consider unattractive become MGTOW, because they don't need anything from them, best to chase them off for good.

For society, this provides a selection pressure on men to be more alpha. As the middle east can tell you, any society with a high number of alpha men is easily plunged into outright violence.

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