Saturday, June 9, 2012

Game lessons from INTJ behaviour...and naughty comedians

Everyone has a cross to bear in life. Some heavier than others.

Mine appears to be ...  INTJs :-)
Wherever I go, I seem to trip up on them.

I thought I could escape them in real life by hiding out in internet-land.
Only to find that internet-land is absolutely swarming with these fellas :-)

Danny, here's looking at you, Maestro.
And I am pretty sure Brody is INTJ too :-)

When I read this post of Danny's, it made me laugh out loud, because I have seen this in action my whole life.

Bellita, I think it was, who said, quoting her Mum, 'Whatever you resist, persists'.

With this in mind, I shan't fight it anymore.
Forevermore, I shall be subject to INTJ craziness :-)

But it's not all bad with these guys.
Far from it.

One thing I notice about them (which tickles my fancy no end) is their ability to 'send people up'.
I am not sure if this british expression is understood by non-Brits.

Just in case it isn't, I guess it is similar to the Game concept of 'agree and amplify', except it is done more 'actively' rather than passively in response to the 'victim's' own deluded thinking, as is the case in 'agree and amplify'.

To be perfectly honest, much as I am an avid Game advocate, I don't feel it is my place to study it in any great depth, other than enough to appreciate its nuances, as I understand that:

1. I wouldn't want to diminish or dilute its effect on me when I am its 'recipient', and
2. I am as likely to need to learn Game for myself as a bald man needs a comb.

So I know the basics, and not much more.
But I was keen to try out my newfound knowledge when Danny asked his masterclass students to point out the Game concepts as demonstrated in this film.

Easily distracted creature that I am, however, even though I went on to review this film in not one but two posts, I still did not answer Danny's questions about the Game concepts, and touched on everything but Game in my wordy reviews :-)

So here is 'Firelight Take 3: the Game concepts Danny was on about' :-)

But first (yes, I digress a lot!), back to INTJs, I notice that part of their apparent lack of 'social graces' stems from the fact that they hate to be boxed in to societal boundaries.
I am sure Danny will confirm this.
Prince Charles sums it up best when he expressly declares his disdain at being 'ever the performing monkey' when he has to perform his royal duties...

Prince Philip might well be an INTJ, at least when it comes to this. I think his so-called 'gaffes' which seem antisocial to most, are actually a manifestation of his weird sense of humour which he feels no need to curb even in situations which call for this type of restraint.
So he will 'send people up' and end up 'getting people's backs up'.

What's more, I always wonder why the Queen never seems upset when he does this, even in her presence.
I think I have an explanation for this too.

INTJs are indeed private and even secretive individuals. (I have never met a female one, but despte their relative rarity, I know the internet is absolutely crawling with them in disproportion to their relative numbers in real life :-)
INTJs live in a world of their own. But occasionally, they get tired of their own company and let someone in. Someone they rigorously test until deemed 'suitable'.
I am not sure why they do this, but I think perhaps, as per most comedians, they really like an audience for their antics. That adds to the fun.

When they are 'sending up' some unsuspecting indiviual who really is clueless as to what is going on, the INTJ gets a kick out of knowing that someone else (a third party) is in on the joke.
I think the Queen is Prince Philip's 'side-kick' in this regard, which is why she never appears upset with his gaffes.
It is quite the privilege for the non-INTJ to be allowed into this position of honour, so they hold it dear. It quickly becomes one of their guilty pleasures :-)
The INTJ is allowed to freely indulge in their defiance of social etiquette if they have an 'accomplice' such as this, especially a woman, who will 'alibi' for him.
If he goes too far, it is she who has to lead him back to within acceptable limits. Because he really has no limit :-)
And God help them both if she too is an INTJ, because then, it really will be a case of the blind leading the blind...

There are two British comedians who are especially good at this 'sending people up' game. Here they are in action:
First up, Sacha Baron Cohen as 'Ali G' who took Britain by storm around ten years ago with his 'faux-ghetto' persona.
This particular clip is especially funny given the general subject matter of this blog:



And then there is Paul Kaye, who goes by the name of 'Denis Pennis' and likes to interview his 'victims' in an American accent, for some obscure reason :-)



Back to 'Firelight', I think now that Elizabeth Laurier might well be an INTJ. I did wonder in one of my previous reviews whether she was INTJ or INTP but on reflection, I think I now have my answer.

In the scene with her daughter Louisa, she executes the 'agree and amplify' thing to perfection.
As PUA tacticians would add, she also managed to seriously 'mess with Louisa's head' in the process.


Except, 'mess' is not the word commonly used in this context, but in the interests of decorum...

00:20 to 01:27...


INTJs love their little head-games. And the fewer people that are 'privy' to their self-entertainment the better for them. But they do like at least one person to share in this with them. It has come to my attention that I have been an unwitting 'co-pilot' in this regard for a long time.

But now I am very much a willing 'accomplice', even if that means that sometimes I am taken to the 'dark side' of acceptable limits of humour :-)

I wonder - do other personality types do this?
Is this funny or unacceptable, by the way?
Why am I reminded of this 'sending up' phenomenon when I witness the tearing apart of (usually) a woman (but not exclusively) on a Manosphere blog by male commenters who seem to form a 'hyena pack' in their ferocity?
Surely they can't all be INTJs having a laugh, literally, in hyena fashion, can they?
Can they?
Whatever it is, it is only fair to say that this phenomenon does take at least a minimum standard of some intelligence, no?
One's gotta admire the smartness behind it...


Unless of course, one is the victim.
Then it's just not funny at all...



Ali G on feminism again:
:-)

I am not sure if this woman realises how much she is being 'sent up'. Perhaps she is aware, and is just playing along... I really hope this is the case...for her sake...


And finally, DON'T watch this next video if you are a sensitive type. His interviews with the lesbian couple and the Catholic priest I think border on the unacceptable...this is EXACTLY what I mean by the 'dark side' of humour...
Unfortunately, this is what INTJs do best...


47 comments:

dannyfrom504 said...

1- Brody's an extrovert, that's why we get along so well. He's a goofball that makes my normally pensive and sullen self giggle.

The game concept in firelight lies in edwards gaming Liz by trying to elude her. Their dynamic is classic "girl chasing that which runs from her."

The second is between louisa and mom. Mom deals with a complete entitled bitch. And mom handles her perfectly.

The American blows it by pedestalizing Elizabeth.

And Elizabeth is most likely an extrovert. But I think societies norms and her own personality made her reserved. Think about it, Edward and her were perfect. But todo you REALLY think he was an extrovert? No, he's total introvert.

Spacetraveller said...

Danny,

Thanks for providing the answers!

By the way, when you say 'Edward', do you mean 'Charles'?

I would never have thought Elizabeth was an extrovert in a million years!
But you are right, in the context of her era, it's quite possible she would have been socialized into being a 'faux introvert'.
I totally agree Charles was an introvert, yes.

Danny, do you ever 'send people up'?
Hm, maybe this should be a rhetorical question! :-)

just visiting said...

I think that a very high number of people in the manosphere are intj's. U of Man had it's readers take the test and then come back with the results. Almost all were intj's.

Spacetraveller said...

@ JV,

This doesn't surprise me in the least!
In any case it makes sense that the internet attracts introverts...

dannyfrom504 said...

I'm not too sure I get send people up quite well. So I don't know.

And yes, I meant Charles. The proof in Elizabeth's extrovertness can be seen in the scene where she bursts into dance when she leaves the party. And introvert would NEVER do that.

I have PTSD, I'm more prone to fits of rage than joy. Making me laugh or giggle is the most you'll ever get out of me as far as a display of joy. Even then.,,,,it's usually reserved.

just visiting said...

@ Danny

For the sake of the movie, you're probably right. I can't speak about other female introverts but I've noticed that female intj's will learn how to change certain traits in order to socialize better. They will take on extroverted traits better than other introverts . I think this is part of my interest with game, because I've seen the correlation with what I have done.

As an intj, intensity, seriousness and aloofness are great, if you're a guy. As a female, it's seen as aggressive to other females. Unless you want only male friends, you learn to soften and tone down certain aspects, warm up and extravert others.

dannyfrom504 said...

I would think most INTJ women would prefer the company of men over women. But then again, I don't have a vagina- so what do I know. Lol.

just visiting said...

Lol.

There might be some truth to that. But the women friends that I do have are greatly appreciated as friends. The introverts "get" me, and we can be chatty or quiet. With extroverted women, silence can be misunderstood, and sometimes seen as aggressive. I try to be aware of it.

Bellita said...

I always test as an INTJ (including on tests administered in school, which I give a tad more credit to than online tests) but having read descriptions of all the types, I believe I'm really an INTP.

My favorite Myers-Briggs "writer" is someone who goes by the name Davesuperpowers on Youtube. He explained that many tests are worded in such a way that even some extroverts will test as INTJs if they rely on them. Your best bet is to read up on the functions and "diagnose" yourself. I did that early this year with a friend who also consistently tests as INTJ and we found out she was really an INFP! :P

Having said that, it makes sense that the INTJ minority would be the majority in certain online communities.

Anonymous said...

Hi, Space Traveler, PVW here, INTJ woman.

Thanks for the acknowledgement in the previous post.

I believe I'm a more diplomatic INTJ, in that I am not interested in "sending people up." That sort of thing takes too much extraversion for me, ie., to be really interested in people's thought processes and so forth that I would want to prick holes in them.

I'm definitely on the quiet, private and secretive end. A perfect example, a few weeks ago, one of the administrators organized a dinner party at a local restaurant for a number of the faculty, at least 10-12 of us, from what I recall.

I arrived when about 1/2 of us got there. I got in, saw a seat where I might put my work bag, and sat down next to it, which happened to be on the other half of the table where there were fewer people. I had to be urged to move over to sit where everyone else was.

I would have been quite content to just sit and listen to the others and chat with the people who eventually sat next to me. That is in effect what I did, I chatted primarily with the people next to me, rarely tried to chat across the table, etc.

The more extraverted would see that as being anti-social. For example, some have seemed almost apologetic when they invited me out to dinner and meet job candidates, ie. the person and I have similar backgrounds, so it would be useful to have me chat with him/her. Add into that, I don't drink, and alcohol is a big part of American socializing.

When I need to, though, I can appear to be more extraverted than I actually am. For example, I definitely like expressing my ideas. This is one way in which I have cultivated an extraverted side.

I am friends with a number of other women who seem to be on the INTJ side.

For example, our interations are more on the quiet side. We don't socialize in large groups. A number of us socialize primarily among our cohort of relatives with a few close friends. We don't talk much about our feelings; we interact more on the basis of ideas, things that interest us, including projects we are working on together.

Spacetraveler, are you an ESF type?

Anonymous said...

PVW here...

I agree with what someone mentioned earlier that a lot of INTJ women might find they understand men better than they understand other women, ie., extraverted type women.

The INTJ women I know are thinkers more than feelers, and they all work in male-dominated fields, ie., engineers, (eevill) lady lawyers (smile), accountants, medical doctors.

Grasshopper said...

Just wondering – if the internet draws the introverted types disproportionately, then does it not follow that the wisdom generally espoused on the net is slanted with the introverts perspective?

Particularly when it comes to gender relations/relationships/sex topics as frequently discussed here.

I agree the net does draw the introverts in higher numbers. I think then it follows that any wisdom we glean from it has to be taken with this particular grain of salt.

Grasshopper

metak said...

I tried the test and it's saying INFuc*ingPossible... ;-)

Everyone would like to be INTJ, but those are not so common as you might thought... ;-)

Have you ST seen the movie Ali G Indahouse? The scene where the police officers let good looking women in the country and when an notsopretty comes they say: "Go back to Slovenia! ;-)" I'm still laughing years after I saw it... ;-)

Anonymous said...

Thoughts on intaoverts' perspectives on relationships and so forth, "taking with a grain of salt," so to speak.

It occurs to me that the prevailing perspectives on the current sexual marketplace is, if anything, slanted towards an extraverts' view of the world, and so there should be an intraverts' perspective as a corrective!


Let's think of it, the sexual marketplace in the current model, predicated on hooking up, casual sex, drinking, etc., etc, racking up numbers, women's hypergamy by going from man to man, lots of superficiality and no depth, indiscreet "tell all" and "share".

I wonder, how many intraverts pushed themselves to be part of that extraverted view of the world only to their detriment?

If anything, an intraverts more cautious and careful view of the world can evoke some hostility from extraverts, while the extraverts' perspective is overbearing from the perspectives of intraverts.

PVW

dannyfrom504 said...

I've not known many INTJ females. But I can totally see them being more online active. And I can see them being on the blogs.

INTJ's exist in the land

dannyfrom504 said...

I HATE blogger sometimes.

INTJ's exist in thier own world. It's a cOmplex and downright hostile place.

dannyfrom504 said...

Blogger keeps cutting me off and I can't edit. I'm done commenting now.

just visiting said...

Then there's the idea that intj's are unfeeling. I don't agree with this. We have very deep feelings.I think we're just not naturally showy. Though, I've changed that over the years with spontaneous and joyful behavior. I run into problems with sad or angry behavior. I'll talk it out or show these emotions with restraint instead of being demonstrative. According to the relationship experts, this is a no-no for women. I'm not sure what bothers me about this. I don't have a problem BEing vulnerable. The showy displays of it though....something I'll have to re think. (Re feel?) Lol.

Spacetraveller said...

@ Danny,

Arggghhh, sorry about your Blogger issues today :-(

By 'sending someone up', I mean where one makes fun of another without their knowledge, kind of like teasing them, but only 'darker', because at least when you tease someone, they are aware of it and respond to it or not as they please. It is the hallmark of a lot of British comedy, especially Ali G's as is shown in the videos.
It is mostly entertaining, especially when it is 'deserved' by the victim, but sometimes it gets ugly...


"The proof in Elizabeth's extrovertness can be seen in the scene where she bursts into dance when she leaves the party. And introvert would NEVER do that."

Well, you know more about MBTI than I...but I would have thought that the spontaneous solitary dancing that Elizabeth does is very typically feminine behaviour! Where extraversion comes in is where there is a need for an audience to this, surely?
Introverts would do it in private, I reckon...
But perhaps I am wrong on this.

Re Elizabeth and the American, perhaps he wouldn't have had a chance with Elizabeh whatever he did? She was truly 'unavailable' to him given that her whole mind was focussed on being near her child.
Actually, I was also thinking...given the context of her era, Elizabeth was actually a poor candidate for marriage to anyone but Charles, as she had had a child as an unmarried woman, no matter how noble her motivation. The American was not to know that, of course, but I wonder if he would have approached Elizabeth at all if he had known she was Louisa's mother?

@ JV,

"As an intj, intensity, seriousness and aloofness are great, if you're a guy. As a female, it's seen as aggressive to other females. Unless you want only male friends, you learn to soften and tone down certain aspects, warm up and extravert others."

This must be quite a burden for the INTJ female!

Bell,

"He explained that many tests are worded in such a way that even some extroverts will test as INTJs if they rely on them."

That's interesting! I can see how it is quite possible to 'misdiagnose' oneself.


@ PVW,

"I am friends with a number of other women who seem to be on the INTJ side."

I heard that INTJs tend to 'select' their own type as friends or partners...
However Danny is one notable exception to this...
Even when you select for male friends, do they also turn out to be INTJ men?

"Spacetraveler, are you an ESF type?"

A resounding no!
I am an introvert too, but not an INTJ.

Spacetraveller said...

Grasshopper,

"I agree the net does draw the introverts in higher numbers. I think then it follows that any wisdom we glean from it has to be taken with this particular grain of salt."

Hahahaha, it sounds like you are suggesting that introverts are not to be trusted with wisdom lol. (I know you are not saying that, it just appears that way from how you phrased your comment - or perhaps as an introvert I take exception to your words :-)

I must admit, I would rather take advice from an introvert than an extrovert...I have never been able to figure out why. I especially am prone to trust an INTJ's opinion more than anyone else's.
Anyone have an explanantion as to why this might be? (Other than in my case, I seem to be under siege by INTJs in real life lol. Can't seem to get away from them!)

I like PVW's answer to you at 5:20AM. I concur!

@ Metak,

"I tried the test and it's saying INFuc*ingPossible... ;-)"

Is that a new personality type? ;)

"The scene where the police officers let good looking women in the country and when an notsopretty comes they say: "Go back to Slovenia! ;-)"

:-)

No, I haven't seen that movie...but this doesn't compute, Metak. Slovenian women are known for their beauty, so perhaps they were being ironic?

@ JV,

"Then there's the idea that intj's are unfeeling. I don't agree with this."

I don't agree with this either, JV. But this is something that INTJs are definitely known for. And I can see why. I think INTJs are the type that are most easily 'misunderstood'.

metak said...

@ST

The test result for me was apparently INFP.

"Is that a new personality type? ;)"

I have to make them (psychologists) earn their money somehow... they're useless... ;-)
I'll never consider psychology as a science.
Let me ask you few questions and based on your answers I'll tell you something about yourself that you already knew, and that makes me a scientist? ;-)
Even numerology or palm reading is more accurate and useful than psychology...

"No, I haven't seen that movie...but this doesn't compute, Metak. Slovenian women are known for their beauty, so perhaps they were being ironic?"

Definitely. But it stuck in my mind... ;-) beauty? sure... but it fades so quickly...

dannyfrom504 said...

Sending someone up- yeah, I do that ALL the time.

Kaikou said...

INTJ here.

dannyfrom504 said...

Are you a woman?

Spacetraveller said...

@ Metak,

"I'll never consider psychology as a science."

I see what you mean...but perhaps you and I only think this because we don't know enough about it?
Any psychologist reading this would be hugely offended that we are dissing their subject like this :-)

@ Danny,

"Sending someone up- yeah, I do that ALL the time."

It seems to me that this is the hallmark of a male INTJ.
I wonder if the females do it too?

(Speaking to Kaikou):
"Are you a woman?"

:-)
I know why you asked this question!
It takes one to know one, Danny!
I am willing to eat my hat whilst dancing naked in the local square if Kaikou is not a woman :-)

@ Kaikou,

Welcome to The Sanctuary!
Please, please, put us out of our misery and tell us you are a woman...
For reasons known only to Danny and me, this is important...and my street cred depends on it *grin*

Can I ask, do you get along with extroverts, or do you prefer the company of other introverts, male and female?

Anonymous said...

Spacetraveler @ PVW,

"I am friends with a number of other women who seem to be on the INTJ side."

I heard that INTJs tend to 'select' their own type as friends or partners...
However Danny is one notable exception to this...
Even when you select for male friends, do they also turn out to be INTJ men?

My reply:

Mr. PVW is an ISTJ.

Grasshopper said...

@PVW and ST…

I wasn’t saying that advice from an introvert is any better or any worse than advice from an extravert. Just understanding the particular frame any advice is coming from can be helpful.

Many times I get advice even when I’m not looking for any.

Just for fun I tested to be ISTP.

Grasshopper

Spacetraveller said...

@ PVW,

Interesting. Another introvert :-)

@ Grasshopper,

I know... I am sorry for pulling your leg ;)
Strange how we are all introverts here.
ANY extroverts here?
Identify yourself, please!

dannyfrom504 said...

ST-
Yes women do so this, it's called "shit tests" and using feminine wile.

I't's funny how many other INTJ's I've stumbled upon on the blogs. And I only follow 3-4.

Spacetraveller said...

Danny,

:-)

Surely it's not the same as fitness testing!
But come to think of it...maybe you're onto something here!
*scratches chin*

dannyfrom504 said...

Are you still doubting me? Seriously. Lol.

God, I'm posting like a stroke victim. SMH.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to be so absent, ST. Exit #3 is in the fugly stage...

I'm an INTJ. Multiple tests over the past 25 years, same results.

When I was assigned to a 3-letter US government agency years ago, the staff psychologist tested every new arrival. Forty percent of us were INTJs. Over 80 percent NTs.

Ex-wives #1 and 2 were INTJs. Soon-to-be Ex #3 is an ENFP.

Bill

Anonymous said...

Spacetraveller said...

"@ Metak,

"I'll never consider psychology as a science."

I see what you mean...but perhaps you and I only think this because we don't know enough about it?
Any psychologist reading this would be hugely offended that we are dissing their subject like this."

Good. It's not a science, it's not an art, it's bullshit disguised as educated guesses, which would be a science IF they had repeatable results.

I've taken that stupid 'test' and several others, several times. Depending on mood, I vary from extrovert to introvert to pervert. What bothers me most about such labels is that people often take them as some sort of Truth, when said results can vary from day to day, month to month and year to year. I had one shrink tell me I was depressed, after taking some Minnesota standardized test. This was while real doctors were removing metal fragments from my legs and concrete rubble from my chest.

I wasn't depressed, I was WOUNDED. Generally, that's Nature's method of telling you that it's a bad day. Fortunately for the shrink, I was unable to get out of bed to slap him upside the head. However, the surgeon did so, at my request.

I still despise butter bars to this day. (new officers)

The Navy Corpsman

just visiting said...

@ NC

Depending on mood, I vary from extrovert to introvert to pervert.

THAT is priceless. LOL!!!!!

Spacetraveller said...

Danny,

"Are you still doubting me? Seriously. Lol."

I should know better than to doubt you, Me Lord.
What is to be my punishment?

;)

@ Bill,

Positive thoughts for you at this tough time...
I did know you were INTJ. In fact it was you and Bell whose encouragement over at her site made me take the plunge into personality testing-land :-)

@ NC,

"Good. It's not a science, it's not an art, it's bullshit disguised as educated guesses, which would be a science IF they had repeatable results."

Whoa, NC, you are not exactly pulling your punches there, are you?
:-)
But of course, I agree entirely with you. It all seems rather random, doesn't it?

"Depending on mood, I vary from extrovert to introvert to pervert."

Hahahahahaha!
I second JV's comment on this.
You do come up with such beauties, NC!
I think you are the undisputed champion of the world when it comes to wortspiel.

The rest of us can't touch this. (Why am I reminded suddenly of MC Hammer's hit from way back?...)
Well, maybe Metak who I imagine will give you a run for your money...
:-)

Anonymous said...

@JV,

As an intj, intensity, seriousness and aloofness are great, if you're a guy. As a female, it's seen as aggressive to other females. Unless you want only male friends, you learn to soften and tone down certain aspects, warm up and extravert others.

My first two ex-wives are are loving examples of this.

Ex #1 was intense, serious, and aloof. Her subordinates nicknamed her "The Bionic Bitch." she has softened a little over the past 30 years, but only a little.

Ex #2 had figured out how soften and tone down those aspects. I knew it was an act, but I didn't care. I should have. Her act was so good that it concealed a serious personality disorder. When I stopped paying attention to the act and recognized the underlying pathology, I beat feet.

Bill

metak said...

@The Navy Corpsman

"Good. It's not a science, it's not an art, it's bullshit disguised as educated guesses, which would be a science IF they had repeatable results."

To me 'Psychologist' is a psycho that is good at logistics-handling all that flow of bull-shit... it can't be easy... ;-) Now I know why there are so many women studying psychology... ;-)


@ST

"Any psychologist reading this would be hugely offended that we are dissing their subject like this."

If he/she is offended he/she can make another stupid test that will prove I am crazy and he/she is right, to make him/her feel better/bitter... ;-)

"The rest of us can't touch this. (Why am I reminded suddenly of MC Hammer's hit from way back?...)"

and I was reminded of Bill Hicks (one to be admired...) in his stand-up, acting as devil and saying to MC Hammer to suck his devil co*k... ;-)

metak said...

@JV

I have a task for you my fortune cookie...

When a psychologist gives you a test...
you give him a fortune cookie... ;-)


Hang in there, you poor thing...
your big words don't mean a thing...
'Resistance is futile!' you keep saying to me...
there's a trap, you're trying to lure me in...
trap is a disorder you can than blame me with...
To others, you might be just Dr. Phil...
but to me...
psycho and drug dealer, better fit the bill...

Spacetraveller said...

Metak,

"Now I know why there are so many women studying psychology..."

Freud, Jung...
And yes, Dr Phil!

metak said...

@ST

"Freud, Jung..."

Even his own mother warned us of him by naming him Freud - FRAUD.

and Dr. Phil... or Dr. Pill... ;-) talking about bull-shit...

Spacetraveller said...

Metak,

Honestly, you make me laugh so much...

:-)

metak said...

@ST

"Now I know why there are so many women studying psychology..."

My conclusion based on actual numbers of students, studying psychology at the university... ;-)

Spacetraveller said...

Metak,

Yes, I have heard this...
That more women than men these days study psychology.
I wonder why?
I don't think it used to be the case 30 years ago...what's changed?

metak said...

@ST

"That more women than men these days study psychology."

It changed so much that there are few guys between hundreds of girls...

"I wonder why?
I don't think it used to be the case 30 years ago...what's changed?"


A. Schopenhauer would say that they're subconsciously trying to fix themselves as women... ;-)

Like I said it involves large portion of time dedicated to bull-shiting and now and then you come up with some kind of stupid test that is treated like 'Unified field theory' that will unravel all the mysteries of mankind...

just visiting said...

@ Bill

That sounds pretty terrible.

In my case, it wasn't bitchieness. Wouldn't have had too many male friends either if that was the case,lol.

I think that not needing to fill the silence all the time was off putting. That,and impatience with certain dynamics of girl groups. The infighting ,grudges, backstabbing. In other cases, it was a disdain of things that I thought were really superficial. This came off as a little cold and arrogant. I didn't think I was like that at the time, but I can see were I was. Even though I was polite about it, it came off in my body language or expressions. I needed to smarten that up.

I tend to do better with introverts or rational women, because these traits are pretty low. I don't do as well with women who reason with emotions. My impatience starts creeping in, and I have to catch my self.

I'd actually say that I'm pretty nice and reasonable on the whole. But I've got a stubborn streak.lol

Anonymous said...

An INTJ's lack of 'social graces' actually stems from the fact that they are not social people. During the time when most people were actively developing on their social manners INTJs were voluntarily locking themselves indoors and still are.

Spacetraveller said...

@ Anonymous at 1:20PM,

Yes it seems like they are not social people. I agree with you there...

But...
Perhaps they are just super selective in who they choose to be sociable with?
Put it this way: exroverts are sociable with most people. Introverts are sociable with fewer people, and of these INTJs are the most selective.
So they never have many friends. And they like it this way...

They are intriguing to me because I have grown up with many INTJs and I can see certain patterns in their behaviour now, after many years of headbutting with them. They exasperate me no end!

But...I do like them :-)
They are the funniest ones because they simply are outrageous...